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Why You Apologize for Everything, Even When You’ve Done Nothing Wrong

A therapist explains how anxiety, people-pleasing, and past experiences can fuel excessive apologizing, plus four ways to break the habit.

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Are you guilty of over-apologizing for anything and everything? Trust me, you’re not the only one. “I’m sorry” is basically my catchphrase, even when I’ve done absolutely nothing wrong.

Someone walks into me? “Sorry!” Someone cuts me in line. “Sorry!!” Someone feels bad for making me feel bad? “Sorry!!!”

It’s instinctual, at this point, but there’s nothing cute about it. Constantly assuming the blame for issues you didn’t cause, or even for innocent mistakes that aren’t actually hurting anyone, does not win you an award. While it might seem endearing, this habit keeps you small and powerless.

Why We Over-Apologize

There are many reasons one might over-apologize, from social conditioning to pure awkwardness.

“Apologizing is empathetic and, when done correctly, can be done through the lens of accountability and respect,” says Maggie Pajak, MSW, therapist with The Witch’s Therapist, a holistic, LGBTQ2S -affirming therapy collective based in London, Ontario. “But when we overapologize, it can........

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