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You’re Getting Love Languages Wrong and It’s Ruining Your Relationship

As with any self-help author, the guy who wrote about love languages didn’t know everything.

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If you’ve ever proclaimed that your love language is acts of service while staring directly at an overflowing trash can, you’ve turned a 1992 self-help book into leverage. And that’s not the point. 

That book is Gary Chapman’s The Five Love Languages, which sorted affection into five categories: physical touch, quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service, and gifts. The idea took off like wildfire, and it started getting applied to literally everything. Venmo once sent customers an email with the subject line “Security is our love language.” Self-help had made it to fintech.

There’s some research........

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