Meet Marla. She and her husband, Brent, are sitting in my office. We’re about to start a two-day intensive course of therapy to determine whether their marriage is salvageable.

I soon learn that Marla and Brent have three children under age seven. She is a stay-at-home mom, he is an attorney.

They met abroad while traveling in the Italy 15 years ago, fell madly in love, and married soon thereafter. Both partners insist it was love at first sight.

They shared so much: love of travel, musical tastes, interest in the arts, gourmet food and wine. Plus, they were both over-the-top outdoor enthusiasts.

They rest, they tell me, is history.

Now, fast forward to today.

Marla says she is seriously considering divorce; They fight all the time. Asking what Marla considers to be their major source of conflict, she replies, “We argue vehemently about politics, and I am really questioning if I can stay with someone whose core values are so different from mine. It’s gotten to the point that I can’t believe I’m actually married to this person anymore. I don’t recognize him.”

Let me also introduce Kayla and Jason. Although their marriage was in need of repair after an affair, a portion of our two-day intensive focused on issues with Jason’s extended family.

Jason grew up in a politically conservative home. When he went to college, his views about the world changed and he brcame decidedly less conservative than his parents and two other........

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