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Many intended parents do not realize legal contracts are limited.

During stressful moments, people often make decisions that align with their value system.

A strong relationship and aligned values help intended parents and surrogates resolve difficulties together.

A legal contract in surrogacy is essential. But as a case that is now making headlines reminds us, it cannot protect you in every situation. In this case, a surrogate, carrying for a California couple, traveled to Texas in a dispute over her desire to treat the fetus's heart condition. She reported that the intended parents wanted to terminate the pregnancy.

Before a match is made, the intended parents and surrogate need to explore whether they are truly aligned on the issues that matter most and need to develop a trusting relationship. After seeing many difficult cases, I was the only therapist asked to testify before the State Judiciary Committee when they were considering legalizing compensated surrogacy in New York. I do not have a magic wand, but I have developed frameworks that I believe help intended parents and surrogates have the best chance of success.

We don’t know everything that happened in this particular situation, and it is devastating for everyone involved. But it is an important reminder that a contract cannot replace shared values........

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