The most common question I hear in my office is not, “How do we co-parent well?” It is far more honest than that: “How do I co-parent with someone who won’t co-parent with me?”

For parents who live in this reality, the heartbreak is layered. You can build the most predictable, loving, child-centered home imaginable, and still have to send your child into a second home that feels chaotic, emotionally unsteady, or unsafe. The truth is brutal: You cannot fix the other house.

What you can fix is how your child experiences the transition.

When a child begins to resist going to the other parent’s home, parents often rush into action. They assign blame. They threaten to go to court. They tell the child, “You don’t have to go.” It feels protective, but it quietly recruits the child into the adult war.

Good ex-etiquette, or better said, “good behavior after divorce or separation,” asks something harder: restraint. If you find that difficult, reach out to someone who can offer help in co-parenting, like a co-parenting counselor or coach. Because the best way to improve your co-parenting is not to assign blame—it is education. For both co-parents.

Here’s an example of education, not........

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