Therapy speak is on the rise—or perhaps it’s already reached its pinnacle, given how often people confidently use clinical terms to describe themselves and others. Indeed, in our attempts to understand our experiences and relationships, fueled by the sudden increased access to psychological knowledge thanks to the Internet and social media, we’re relying too heavily on psychobabble to explain and define our lives.

The result is that many clinical words are being misunderstood and misused—even weaponized. And none more so than gaslighting. (Well, except perhaps for narcissism.) Suddenly, people are claiming gaslighting left and right. But are they being gaslit? Are you? Let’s look at what this word means and untangle the difference between invalidation and gaslighting.

Gaslighting is an abuse tactic used to make someone doubt their experience of reality. In it, an abuser questions the person’s perception of events, making them lose trust in their memory and experience. Over time, with repeated instances of gaslighting, the other person believes that they’re misunderstanding and misreading the world around them and relies on the abuser’s narrative as truth. It makes them feel stupid, inept, and like they’re going........

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