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Find a therapist who understands narcissism.

Focus on learning a few interventions to use when a narcissist is triggered and about to become abusive.

Four simple interventions: Be empathic, nonjudgmental, ask open-ended questions, and avoid criticisms.

These methods can also be used by non-therapists who need to deal with someone with NPD.

Most psychotherapists are given no training in how to treat narcissistic personality disorder. However, that does not stop them from ending up with clients who turn out to have undiagnosed NPD. And there is a severe shortage of therapists trained to diagnose and treat NPD. This means that people who want therapy for their own or a loved one’s narcissistic issues may find it hard to find a knowledgeable enough therapist.

Note: I am using the terms NPD and narcissist as shorthand for someone who qualifies for a full diagnosis of narcissistic personality disorder.

The Average Psychotherapist Can Learn Specific Interventions

The good news is that average therapists can learn interventions for common NPD issues even if they have not been trained to do the whole therapy. To that end, when I teach psychotherapists, I often focus on a general issue that all clients with NPD experience. In this post, I explain how to successfully intervene when a narcissist becomes triggered.

What Does “Triggered” Mean?

Narcissists are often hypersensitive to feeling criticized. This hypersensitivity has its roots in their childhood. Something trivial in the present can activate a painful unworked-through past traumatic wound. The client feels the combined pain of both and overreacts to the situation.

7 Parts of a Triggered Narcissistic Response

Negative Feelings: They experience some combination of shock, hurt, disappointment, frustration, sadness, and anger.

Underlying Assumptions: Their assumptions about the other person’s intentions are always negative—i.e., "He meant to hurt and humiliate me.”

Shrinking Perspective: Their whole world shrinks to this one thing.

Loss of Context: They lose access to their........

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