What Is Sexual Abuse?

Find a therapist to heal from sexual abuse

Sexual behavior can be a way to establish status, and that has dangerous ramifications.

Individual accountability isn’t enough to stop sexual violence; there’s much that allows it to continue.

Institutions frequently protect perpetrators rather than sexual violence survivors.

As a sex therapist and an educator, I keep thinking about what the “Cornell 7” case is illuminating. A brief overview: A woman, publicly identified as Jane Doe, has sued Cornell and seven male students, accusing them of drugging and raping her in October 2024.1 Details of the case are still emerging, and I can’t speak to what happened because I wasn’t there, but what I can say with confidence is that we cannot meaningfully address sexual violence only by teaching people to identify consent at the point of sexual contact.

Over the last few years, consent has rightfully taken a more prominent place in society. We emphasize it in conversations, seminars, and the law. If someone says “no” to sexual activity, it’s a no, and they haven’t consented. But we also have to look at what people learn long before the moment of sexual contact. How do they understand another person's desire? And it’s important to understand that a sexual assault should not be understood through the same framework as mutual desire because it involves a violation of........

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