The hostility in emotionally abusive families causes children to feel frightened, insecure and off-balance.

In these households, children may be bombarded with conflict, criticism, competition and chaos.

Denial, scapegoating, and gaslighting are often features of emotionally abusive families.

Family is supposed to be an environment where children receive the love, guidance, encouragement and support they need in order to mature into healthy adults. Unfortunately, in some families, not only are children deprived of the support and encouragement they need, but they are constantly bombarded with experiences of conflict, criticism, competition and chaos. These are what I call emotionally abusive families. The tension and hostility that exist in such families cause children to feel insecure, frightened, and off-balance.

In many households, emotionally abusive behavior ends up saturating the family environment until it seems normal. Behavior such as constant putdowns (often in front of others), unreasonable expectations, dismissing or mocking one another’s opinions, and character assassinations go on constantly. While not every emotionally abusive family looks the same, in this post, I will describe many of the common features.

Emotionally abusive families can have the following features:

Denial. Parents who are being emotionally mistreated by their partner deny they are being abused. They make up excuses for their partner’s behavior: “He’s going through a rough time at work right now.” “That’s the alcohol talking, that’s not how he really feels.” Abusive spouses deny they are........

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