Take our Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder Test

Find a therapist to heal from trauma.

In uncertain times, focus on what you can control.

Schedules, rituals, and self-care are paramount in navigating stress.

I am now 36 hours into my third war in two and a half years, and once again I am leaning heavily into my practice as a trauma psychologist to navigate this intense reality. I have experienced October 7 and its aftermath, the 12-day Israel-Iranian war, and now this newest round of warfare between Israel, the United States, and Iran. Between waking up and eating my breakfast this morning there were already six rounds of sirens, which meant that I could not leave my bomb shelter for an hour. This is a continuation of yesterday, which also had nonstop rounds of sirens punctuated by the loud booms of Iron Dome interceptions, as well as a ballistic missile that landed not far from my home. The boom upon landing was enormous, resulting in 20 causalities and one death. There is a lot in my life that lacks control. I focus on what it is in my life that I can control, and lean into where I can make a tangible change.

As soon as I could leave the shelter in my apartment this morning, I leaned into following my schedule. First, I prepared a tasty breakfast for myself. It is important that I eat something nourishing. Although I know that stress eating feels good in the moment – and I love my chocolate – maintaining a healthy diet is important even in stressful times. After eating I cleaned my home, washed dishes, and did laundry; a tidy home gives me a sense of calm and control. Next, I took a shower and readied for my day: I used soaps, shampoos, lotions and perfume that make me feel good. Feeling clean and also using delightful scents bring me happiness, re-centers me, and are also acts of self-care. Although I looked longingly for a moment at my cozy pajamas, I rather opted to do my hair, makeup, and dress as I do on a daily basis – whether or not I will leave my home today. It is important to segment my time into night and day, and how I dress myself helps me make such a distinction. Grateful for a short reprieve from sirens, I cleaned and organized my shelter. I made my temporary bed and opened my metal window cover to let in fresh air into the room. To make the room cozier, I brought in some additional food, fluffed my pillows, and folded extra blankets.

My chores complete, I sat down to work. Even in the midst of an intensive security situation, work gives structure, focus, and purpose to my day – and I am grateful to have the intellectual stimulation. I also use this time to respond to calls and texts from family and friends. I am grateful for the social support, as it makes me feel less isolated and gives me a place to process my experiences. I have many feelings as I navigate these times – fear, anxiety, sadness, hopefulness – and sharing them with loved ones gives me a place to unpack and reflect on what is happening. I also know that if I feel the need, I can reach out to my therapist, as therapy can be a place to further process what is happening. I am here for my own patients as well – and we can schedule Zoom calls as needed.

The same strategies can be followed with children: Although the typical daily school schedule is suspended, meals can be served at their typical intervals, they can get dressed for the day ahead, and bedtime and wake time can remain the same. Try focusing on fun activities and how to make them laugh. Also aim to explain the situation in age-appropriate terms to help them understand all of these confusing events. Focus on modeling calm, as the sounds of the sirens can scare them; know that they are looking to their adults to serve as a guide of how to react to the piercing noise.

I am feeling anxious and tired. The frequent sirens are draining and the missile hit last night frightened and saddened me. So to address this, I did some meditation breathing on a count of four: I breathed in through my nose on a count of four; held for four; and released on a count of four. I like to sit on my couch and repeat this exercise until I feel noticeably calmer. I try to reframe my negative thoughts as much as possible, as a positive mindset helps me feel less fearful. Throughout the day I like to treat myself to little moments of pleasure, whether warm tea with honey, a cozy sweater, or reading a book that I enjoy. If I can do so, I will take a short walk outside but remain close to a shelter should there be a siren. I do take time also to scroll through social media and read the news; this can be a tricky balance between reading enough that I feel informed but limiting my intake so I that do not feel unduly frightened or overwhelmed. This afternoon I scheduled in fun activities that enhanced my sense of calm. I watched a movie that is a comedy, and laughter helped lighten my mood. I then did some exercise that elevated my heart rate.

I will wind down my day with dinner, my usual bedtime rituals, and a change into pajamas. I will go to sleep at my typical time. I also silence my phone before bedtime so that I can prioritize my sleep. I am going to close the metal window and heavy metal door so that I can sleep as well as possible, because I know that my sleep with play a crucial role in how I will function tomorrow. I focus on the present and keep catastrophic thoughts away, as these anxious thoughts are often not helpful and can only serve to enhance my anxiety. It is out of my control as to how long this conflict will last and with what intensity. I do not know what the next hour or day will necessarily bring. Instead, I focus on my training, schedule, and rituals to navigate a scary present.

Take our Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder Test

Find a therapist to heal from trauma.

© Psychology Today