Roy Keane famously used the phrase ‘Fail to prepare, prepare to fail’ during the 2002 Saipan World Cup controversy. It’s a motto I forever associate with him, and I’ve been known to deploy it on occasion. It provides a boost of motivation to put in the study hours, to perfect the details in planning an event, even to embrace the tedious prep work of painting your front room.

It’s what came to mind reading the government’s new ‘Be Emergency Ready’ campaign booklet. Two million booklets are going to pop through our letterboxes soon, encouraging us to prepare for an emergency.

Discussions about climate chaos, a potential AI apocalypse, far-right threats to democracy, ongoing genocide, cyber or drone attacks and all the other world crises you care to worry about are converging to create a pervading “end is nigh” atmosphere - so here’s a booklet with a checklist to help you get through the tough days.

You can distract yourself from the anxiety-inducing woes of the world by squirrelling away water, non-perishable food and firewood! On the surface, it’s all easily achievable until you drill into the details. I assume I have plenty of tinned food in the cupboard until I check and it’s actually just cans of chopped tomatoes, chickpeas and sweetcorn - not the most delicious dinner combo. I’ll have to stock up on things that can be heated up quickly.

“Keep a........

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