'We were inseparable': How imaginary friends help us in real life

From invisible ballerinas to chatty milk cartons, the benefits of made-up friends can last well into adulthood and help us master tricky real-life situations.

Throughout my childhood I had many great friendships, but one group truly left a mark. Capin, Mia and Hannah were my closest friends from an early age, and I recall lots of happy memories together. On hot summer days we would spend hours making daisy chains, spotting peculiar-shaped clouds as they blotted out the Sun's rays, baking fairy cakes, playing hide and seek, practising handstands, cartwheels – exerting ourselves day in and day out until summer drew to an end.

We were an inseparable foursome, yet not the conventional type: Capin, Mia and Hannah were a complete figment of my imagination.

They were my imaginary friends who I shared secrets with, looked to for guidance and turned to when I needed a good dose of fun. But I didn't create them because I was lonely or shy or lacking in real-life friends. In fact, all these years later I'm still not sure where they came from or why.

Whatever my friends' origin, research on imaginary friends suggests that I was lucky to have them. From chatty milk cartons to multi-coloured alligators and a magical ghost giraffe, studies reveal a dazzling range of imaginary creatures accompanying children through the ups and downs of childhood. There's emerging evidence that these have wide-ranging benefits, including enhanced empathy and creativity, which can last well into adulthood.

The friendly milk carton

By the time they are seven years old, two-thirds of children have had an imaginary friend, a character created by them which they interact with or talk about on a regular basis, according to psychologists Naomi Aguiar and Marjorie Taylor.

"These children don't have fewer friends than other children, they have the same number of reciprocal friendships as kids without imaginary friends. And the reality of what the data shows is that they're just like other kids in almost every respect," says Aguiar, a psychologist and the author of Imaginary Friends and the People who Create Them. She currently researches online learning and child relationships with imaginary friends and AI chatbots at Oregon State University in the US.

Often, children's imaginary friends appear when there are no others around, according to Aguiar – not as a sign of deep loneliness, but just because in that specific moment, the child happens to be alone and would like some company.

"A lot of children create imaginary friends because they're fun and because they really like social interactions. So, if there's no social partner to interact with [in a given situation], they create an imaginary friend," says Aguiar.

But these made-up beings can have benefits far beyond just providing company, research suggests. Children with imaginary friends may excel at being creative storytellers, can be less shy, are more interested in fantasy, better able to focus their attention, use screens less and may have more vivid mental imagery than children without imaginary friendships.

Each imaginary friend is unique to its child creator and is often customised to match the ever-shifting whims and needs which appear throughout childhood, Aguiar explains.

One of her favourite examples is the case of a girl who had an invisible milk carton as a friend. What the girl loved about the milk carton was that it wasn't human, and so the milk carton taught her about what it was like to not be human, and she taught the milk carton about what it was like to be human, Aguiar says.

Invisible ballerinas and a boy with a cloud

My own imaginary friends appeared when I was around three years old. Hannah and Mia were inspired by two girls from a ballet film. They never walked, only jumped, leapt and spun in a constant cycle of ballet sequences, and they wore matching soft pink leotards, tutus and ballet slippers. But Capin, he truly was an enigma – I have no idea where he came from.

Capin was older than the three of us. He had dark hair which covered his eyes,........

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