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Tim WhyteSanta Clarita Valley Signal |
You’re a Little League team. Playing against the New York Yankees. Without a bat. That’s how one deputy district attorney described the plight...
Back in a previous life as a rookie Signal reporter, I was introduced to something that, at the time, was called “rotisserie baseball.” It was...
Remember those old “Maytag Repairman” commercials? For those too young to remember, the premise of the commercials was that Maytag appliances —...
Twenty years ago this morning, my alarm clock went off. Not the alarm on my smartphone — iPhones didn’t exist yet. This was an actual...
The Dixie wildfire, still raging in Northern California, is rapidly burning through communities, recently becoming the largest wildfire in state...
I knew my daughter wanted to bait her own hook. It’s our girl Brooke’s birthday this weekend, and she’s everything you want your daughter to...
Inclusiveness. It’s a tricky word in 2021. Case in point: The City of Santa Clarita Human Relations Roundtable, formed amid the heat of discussions...
When I was a toddler, just learning to talk, I couldn’t enunciate my aunt’s name. “Mary Lou” is a mouthful when you’re just mastering...
I got my first COVID-19 shot the other day, and it brought back childhood memories. Nope, not painful memories of getting my shots. I’m not a...
Two guys get into a fender bender. A profanity-laced shouting match ensues. And it turns out one of them is a racist. Is it news? That was a...
Get your tinfoil hats, folks. It’s conspiracy theory time. SOMETHING exploded in the hills near Newhall on Tuesday night. That much is certain. The...
“A little ditty, about Jack and Di-aaane…” My high school pal Dave Hansen would be singing the song as he sauntered up to the line of scrimmage,...
I’ve got a secret. Please don’t think less of me. But I have a guilty pleasure. I watch “The Bachelor.” And “The Bachelorette.” And...
Ever heard of giving someone “the mushroom treatment”? It’s when you keep someone in the dark and feed them bull… er, manure. I was reminded...
On a family road trip a while back, we ordered food to be delivered to the hotel room. It arrived, hot and ready, an hour or so later — with no...
I’ve often thought of being a dictator. I’d be a benevolent dictator, because I’m a nice guy. But it would come with certain benefits, which I...
“Hi Tim, this is Allan Cameron.” It was an unmistakable baritone voice, and he drew out and emphasized the last syllable of his own last name. You...
Let’s flash back a year. Remember the end of 2019? People couldn’t wait for 2019 to be over. The consensus was, it was an awful year, especially...
Woody (answers phone): Cheers! Yes, ma’am, right away. (Turns to Carla.) There’s some lady screaming her head off. Carla: What’s she want?...
I’m no constitutional scholar. But I am a pretty avid practitioner of the First Amendment. So, I have those five freedoms committed to memory, the...
Ah, the Saturday after Thanksgiving. That day when the anticipation finally starts to pay off, the food-drink-football-shopping hangover from Turkey...
It was one of those moments, like 9/11, or the 1994 earthquake, or, for previous generations, the assassination of JFK. You will always remember where...
It was a Sunday afternoon in March. My wife and I were at one of our favorite spots, a local micro-brewery, unwinding and enjoying an afternoon break....
When our daughter came home for Christmas break at the end of her first semester at Washington State University, she went through the airports toting...
“Them n—-s just got aired out… Somebody bust on the police, n—-. Two sheriffs shot in the face. They trippin’. It’s going up in Compton…...
What’s the statute of limitations on Stupid Teenage Pranks? I think I’m in the clear, so a confession: In the 1980s, my knucklehead buddies and...
About two months into the COVID-19 crisis, I was surfing my usual sports channels. I’m a sports fan. I have my favorites — hockey, football and...
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