Are you the type of person whose knee-jerk reaction to any uncomfortable moment is to apologize? Someone bumps into you on the train. “Sorry, I was in your way.” You give someone a gift. “Sorry if it doesn’t fit perfectly.” You cook dinner for the family. “Sorry if the meal is a bit late.”

The constant apologizing, especially when you did nothing wrong, may come from a good place, but it can appear to be a symptom of a bigger problem. Over-apologizers appear to lack confidence and are constantly seeking reassurance. Worse, because they’re always calling attention to their own mistakes, they may appear to be incompetent.

What to say instead of “I’m sorry”

Melody Wilding, LMSW, says the key is to replace shame with gratitude. Instead of putting yourself........

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