In just a few days, Christmas will be here. As one of Santa’s helpers, hopefully, you’ve finished shopping weeks ago. But if you haven’t, don’t worry! Here’s a roundup of this year’s hottest toys, all of which are still readily available, and all at deeply discounted prices.

Everyone will love this updated version of a childhood classic!

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Featuring “Double Tap ™ Technology” for Double the Lethality, Double the Fun!

South American drug cartels are sending speedboats filled with illegal drugs to American shores — unless they’re not and it’s just local fishermen out for the day trying to catch a few flounder for dinner. No matter, your orders from the Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth remain the same! Hunt! Hit! Sink! Kill! No survivors!

Each box contains:

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Just Double Tap™ first and duck questions later! And since it’s a totally one-sided military battle, you can’t lose!*

*Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth denies all responsibility in the likely event that........

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