Oh great. A school doesn't communicate with a parent body about chaos among the kids.

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What's the goss? Boys at Radford College were in an online chat group where boys were rating girls' appearances. When I say boys, these ones were in year six. Same thing happened at Canberra Grammar this year too. The kids at Grammar might not have been that young.

In the case of Radford, fees went up by 20 per cent this year. Those year six parents are paying well over 20 grand a year, for a school which has not communicated all that well about the problem. Parents say only the boys were on the receiving end of a chat from the school.

Apparently the girls being objectified wasn't a matter of concern, or not enough to have a chat with them about it. Geez, I would have got them all in a room learning jiu jitsu because the kind of school culture which allows boys to think girls are objects leads to many other different kinds of behaviour. Good to get girls learning self-defence anyway.

Weird choices by the school so I'm here to help you tell you what you should say to your sons, even if they are not in year six at a private school. What you should always say to your sons. And your daughters. Any kid of any kind.

First thing. No matter what awful thing the kid has done, always take the love route. I mean, this is what all the experts say although I swear, back in the day, I felt like sending my kids to their rooms for a very long time. Or at least long enough for me to calm down.

The love route means telling them that no matter what they've done, you will always love them.

Unconditional. Unending. A lot. I used to say, up to the sky, down to the ground, all around the world sideways. Maggie Dent talks about grains of sand and hairs on bears and it sounds glorious and endless.

Which can be easy to say unless you are in a rage about them rating........

© Canberra Times