"No mas, no mas "--Roberto Duran

Like ol' "Hands of Stone" himself, I'm saying "No Mas" to these senseless, saccharine, sallow halftime shows at major sporting events. Isn't the game enough? Must we have entertainment stuffed inside our entertainment? We have to have a show within a show? They're such a waste of time.

We must rid the Earth of them, my friends.

We were having a perfectly great time watching the first half of the World Cup final as it reached halftime. One of soccer's charms is a brief halftime period with no shows of any kind. Pondering how a scoreless game (not 0-0, but nil-nil, which doesn't exactly roll off the American tongue) could be so lopsided, all of us were eager to get the second half underway. Soccer Mount Everest. Spain was about to scale the summit.

The most glittering prize in the sport being up for grabs was apparently not enough. What this pressure cooker of futbol lacked was a concert. Why this is, no one seems to know. Because it was in the U.S., perhaps. And not just any concert, mind you, but one that is all things to all men, in the words of the apostle Paul. This mismatched quilt surely came together by........

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