As a psychologist, I help patients with their goals every day. Sometimes the goals are specific: “I want to have fewer arguments with my teenage son.” Other times, they are vague but equally important: “I just want to feel less depressed.” It is my job to help patients adjust their goals into more measurable ones. This helps us assess whether they are making progress.

Many professionals talk about SMART goals. The acronym is comprised of Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-Bound. This is a reasonable starting point for establishing goals for yourself or with a professional. It is not the focus of this blog post, however. Instead, we are looking at whether your goals are intrinsic or extrinsic. It turns out that the answer to this question matters a lot for well-being.

An extrinsic goal is something outside of yourself, such as money, being famous, promotions at work, status among your neighbors, beauty, etc. A storyline rooted in external rewards might look something like this: I work hard because I want to be promoted, earn more money, and gain the praise of my boss and respect from my colleagues. It is the destination, versus the journey that brings the most reward.

Intrinsic goals are considered to be more internal and individual (versus societal). They could include better health, improved relationships, personal growth, pursuing a life purpose. Oftentimes, the reward is found in pursuit of the goal itself. It is more the journey than the destination that is rewarding.

Recently, a team of researchers looked at nearly 30 years of studies examining the strengths and weaknesses of these particular types of goals. While there were exceptions and outliers, the data suggests that the pursuit of intrinsic goals promotes well-being, while focus on extrinsic goals deters well-being. Considering that most of us, especially in the United States, tend to measure our success by what we accomplish, we may be focusing on the wrong things. SMART goals tend to lend themselves more to extrinsic goals. For example, it is easier to see as successful a promotion at work (specific and measurable), within a year (time-bound) than to assess personal growth, which is more nebulous.

In order to shift goals to more intrinsic ones, a change in emphasis would be helpful. Comparing ourselves to others is a hazard for good self-esteem, especially on social media where we essentially compare the worst of ourselves to the best version of others. As Theodore Roosevelt said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” Intrinsic goals take away the “other,” making comparisons and all that comes with them — envy, insecurity, resentment — less powerful.

Extrinsic goals will always exist, as they appear to be a part of the human condition. Furthermore, they keep us motivated in certain areas of our lives, such as career success. However, only by making our goals more of an inside job can we begin to truly see the beauty in ourselves, our relationships, and the world around us. Remember, none of us is perfect, so it truly is the journey and not the destination that matters.

References

Bradshaw, E. L., Conigrave, J. H., Steward, B. A., Ferber, K. A., Parker, P. D., & Ryan, R. M. (2023). A meta-analysis of the dark side of the American dream: Evidence for the universal wellness costs of prioritizing extrinsic over intrinsic goals. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 124(4), 873–899. https://doi.org/10.1037/pspp0000431