Roni’s Remedy: Oversharing, hide please, always a no |
Q: My husband started therapy and now he wants me to start going with him. I’m proud of him, but I don’t feel like we need couple’s therapy. He started individual therapy and now it’s turned into something we both need to do. Do I compromise and try it out or tell him I’m not interested? – Help Yourself
A: Help Yourself – Honestly, every couple and individual could use some therapy! Marriage is about compromise, especially when it comes to engaging in activities to make your other half happy. I suggest just trying it out one time. You will probably be surprised at how therapy isn’t the beast everyone makes it out to be. You just sit and talk and it’s amazing how certain subjects come to light that you didn’t think you needed help with. I feel like this will strengthen your marriage, help your husband to feel a bigger bond with you, and it’s not forever. Try a few sessions and reassess. Keep an open mind and we humans don’t know everything. There is always room to grow and learn. It will be worth it if it makes your husband smile and know you are there for him.
Thank you for reading!
Please log in, or sign up for a new account and purchase a subscription to continue reading.
Enter promo code for special offer.
Current subscribers! Please enjoy your online access to Yuma Sun.
You can access your news from your desktop computer, laptop, mobile device or tablet.
You can also go to the app store to download a user friendly 'Yuma Sun' app.
Sorry, no promotional deals were found matching that code.
Promotional Rates were found for your code.
Sorry, an error occurred.
Q: My sister’s husband is so controlling. He is constantly checking her phone, tracking all of her movements and doesn’t let her talk to us as often anymore. I am really worried about her, but I don’t know what to do. Do you have any tips? – Please Come Home
A: Please Come Home – This is a sad situation for sure. Unfortunately, there's really not much you can do except tell her how you feel. Go to her as a sister, not as her mother, and share how much you miss and love her. You can tell her that you've witnessed a change in behavior that is alarming and it might open her eyes to it. A lot of the time people that are being controlled don't realize they're being controlled. So, this might be the wake up call that she needs. You might need to stage a little intervention with the help of your parents, if they're still around, or some other family and friends. It is going to be up to her in the end but at least you'll know that you went to her as a worried sister that loves her very much. Don't be scared to speak up because you might be the reason her life is saved.
Q: I am wondering if I am too picky with dating. Something turns me off with everyone I go on a date with. I am super against settling for someone just to be in a relationship, but I am not sure if I am looking at the good things these people offer, too. Any thoughts on my thought process for dating? – Only Seeing Red Flags
A: Only Seeing Red Flags – You've kind of already acknowledged that you are too meticulous just by sending in this question. So that's a great start! Sometimes people tend to look for everything wrong in a situation versus what could go right. I just advise you not to make these decisions quickly. If you're making them after meeting the date one time, then yes, I think you're being too fussy. I always suggest people go out a minimum of three times if there is at least a semblance of compatibility. If someone's a total creep then no, never see them again! That makes total sense. But you're really not going to know if there is a spark or not until you give them a little bit more time. Try to see how things could work out in the future versus their chewing grossing you out at one meal. Things like that are fixable. Don't ignore the major red flags but learn to let the little ones go.
Advice columnist Veronica Baumgarner is a Yuma-based certified relationship coach, life coach and peer support. Please send questions to: ronisremedy@gmail.com.