Chinese whisperers dish the dirt on Dutton

DEEP STATE: Two Chinese spies have revealed an arresting dynamic in Peter and Kirilly Dutton's relationship. The thought of catching up with two old...

Chinese whisperers dish the dirt on Dutton

DEEP STATE: Two Chinese spies have revealed an arresting dynamic in Peter and Kirilly Dutton's relationship. The thought of catching up with two old...

Clown effect: I scare the bejesus out of Folau

What a surprise I got upon arriving for a gig for my other job, party clown, at a luxury Sydney home last Saturday. I pressed a buzzer at the entrance...

Clown effect: I scare the bejesus out of Folau

What a surprise I got upon arriving for a gig for my other job, party clown, at a luxury Sydney home last Saturday. I pressed a buzzer at the entrance...

Stuck on a smelly refugee boat with Dutton

Governments were warned about the dangers of autonomous weapons, but those warnings were ignored. Now I find myself, at age 72, sitting on the crowded...

Stuck on a smelly refugee boat with Dutton

Governments were warned about the dangers of autonomous weapons, but those warnings were ignored. Now I find myself, at age 72, sitting on the crowded...

My failure inspired Steve Smith to greatness

Much misfortune has befallen me, as anyone familiar with my writings would know. And to be sure, most of that misery was self-inflicted. However,...

My failure inspired Steve Smith to greatness

Much misfortune has befallen me, as anyone familiar with my writings would know. And to be sure, most of that misery was self-inflicted. However,...

ScoMo reveals to me his Daddy Bear image

Scott Morrison came through the crowd like a bad acid trip. He was dressed in a brown bear outfit, the face removed to reveal a beaming, bespectacled...

ScoMo reveals to me his Daddy Bear image

Scott Morrison came through the crowd like a bad acid trip. He was dressed in a brown bear outfit, the face removed to reveal a beaming, bespectacled...

I knew Nick Kyrgios when he was charming

I'm the type of person who doesn't like looking back. Not because I'm a forward-thinker with my eyes fixed on the horizon. No. I look ahead because...

I knew Nick Kyrgios when he was charming

Frydenberg's medieval banquet obsession

It was 1992 and Monash University's Law Students' Society was headed by a charismatic 20-year-old with an easy smile, a thick mane and a slashing...

Frydenberg's medieval banquet obsession

It was 1992 and Monash University's Law Students' Society was headed by a charismatic 20-year-old with an easy smile, a thick mane and a slashing...

To Smith and Warner: don't turn mad dog

TAKE HEED: "I've decided to write about this dark chapter in my life as a warning to messrs Smith and Warner ..." Photo: AP/Matt Dunham It was my...

To Smith and Warner: don't turn mad dog

TAKE HEED: "I've decided to write about this dark chapter in my life as a warning to messrs Smith and Warner ..." Photo: AP/Matt Dunham It was my...

Shorten's intense pain: serious TLC needed

Bill Shorten is sitting at the breakfast table of his Melbourne home the morning after Labor's election defeat. He's deep in thought: Strange. I've...

Shorten's intense pain: serious TLC needed

Bill Shorten is sitting at the breakfast table of his Melbourne home the morning after Labor's election defeat. He's deep in thought: Strange. I've...

SATIRE | 'Court ruling': Folau guilty of exacerbating pain of the vulnerable

As the world awaits the Israel Folau verdict - which may be delivered before this piece is published - I will render my own verdict using a skill...

SATIRE | 'Court ruling': Folau guilty of exacerbating pain of the vulnerable

As the world awaits the Israel Folau verdict - which may be delivered before this piece is published - I will render my own verdict using a skill...

Holy cow: Scott Morrison out-worshiped me

Only once in my sad life have I reigned supreme in a particular activity, or at least in my mind I did. And losing that status plunged me into a...

Holy cow: Scott Morrison out-worshiped me

Only once in my sad life have I reigned supreme in a particular activity, or at least in my mind I did. And losing that status plunged me into a...

I'm high on Tiger again in most intense way

I gazed teary-eyed at a god who walks among us mere mortals, his hair patchy like an old dog's coat, and his glow more refulgent than ever because he...

I'm high on Tiger again in most intense way

I gazed teary-eyed at a god who walks among us mere mortals, his hair patchy like an old dog's coat, and his glow more refulgent than ever because he...

Flaws with claws: I'm high on Tiger again

I gazed teary-eyed at a god who walks among us mere mortals, his hair patchy like an old dog's coat, and his glow more refulgent than ever because he...

Flaws with claws: I'm high on Tiger again

I gazed teary-eyed at a god who walks among us mere mortals, his hair patchy like an old dog's coat, and his glow more refulgent than ever because he...

Dad wanted greatness but got a bedwetter

I feel tremendous angst at this time of year, as the world's attention turns to an exclusive club and its exclusive tournament. The Masters strips...

Dad wanted greatness but got a bedwetter

I feel tremendous angst at this time of year, as the world's attention turns to an exclusive club and its exclusive tournament. The Masters strips...

Warning to NRL players: a sex tape ruined my life

Long before the world learned via a sex tape that Dylan Napa’s shagging names were Big Papi and Big Papa, I fled Australia after a sex tape...

Peter Dutton ruined my high school experience

It was my decision to hoodwink my parents, in pursuit of a girl, which led me to devise an elaborate ruse involving Peter Dutton that scarred me for...

Being called Punchy is no picnic, believe me

On the rare occasions I return to my childhood hometown of Gladstone, it is not uncommon for me to be lashed with a loathed, ancient nickname:...

Bill Shorten cured my chronic insomnia and made me rich

The face staring back at me in the mirror was the face of a man who had not slept properly for months. I splashed water on that desolate visage,...

I knew ScoMo when he was called Miami

THE EVOLUTION OF: Before he was ScoMo, "fair dinkum" guy, Scott Morrison was Miami, "flashy" dresser. AAP Image/Dan Peled Long before he tried to woo...

Childhood memories of XXXX, Camels, a curmudgeon and cricket

One of my favourite pastimes as a boy was cracking a tinny and watching cricket at my next-door neighbour’s home. Stanley was a tall and skinny...

XXXX, Camels, a curmudgeon and cricket

One of my favourite pastimes as a boy was cracking a tinny and watching cricket at my next-door neighbour’s home. Stanley was a tall and skinny...

America the Great? I don’t think so, buddy

If you live long enough your life is littered with lost loves – things that burned so brightly but cooled, often after dragging you through an...

To the Aussie cricketers: truth will set you free

Now that the elite cleaning team has finally removed the mess at Cricket Australia headquarters caused by David Peever’s death by a thousand cuts,...

My million-dollar view of a world that burns

What I’m about to reveal is so personal that ordinarily it would remain buried in the deep hole containing my family’s dark secrets dating back...