As Australia went down in Perth like a fast-motion sunset, the undead zombie of our cricket culture rose out of the dark.
Our guys are too nice to win, we heard. Why are they smiling at the Indian players? Where is the fighting spirit of the olden days (asked the veterans of the olden days)? The cricket public is disappointed. It sees the veins popping in Virat Kohli’s neck, and it wants some of that from our side. It wants Australian mongrel.
We’ll hear more about it in coming days, because the zombie offers himself for selection whenever the Australian men’s Test team loses catastrophically.
For better or worse, the zombie has had a track record created around it. The teams of Ian Chappell, Mark Taylor and Steve Waugh not only defeated their opponents, they forced them to submit. In 2013, after repeated losses, the overly nice Mickey Arthur was replaced as coach by the combative Darren Lehmann. Soon, Michael Clarke was warning opponents about broken arms, even the sweet-natured Mitchell Johnson turned feral, and hey presto, a 5-0 Ashes win was followed by out-growling South Africa in the growliest place in the cricket world.
When under severe pressure, the “real” Australian cricketing character supposedly revealed itself – flinty, unyielding, willing to push sportsmanship to its limits – and the public applauded the victories. The ends justified the means.
The zombie was equally persuasive as an international origin story. England trounced Don Bradman’s Australia when they resorted to Bodyline. (Later, Bradman took revenge with parallel ruthlessness.) Clive Lloyd’s West Indian dynasty, Pakistan in the 1980s, Sri Lanka........