Order an Uber: As Boxing Days go, this one was borderline ridiculous |
“If the Poms bat first, let’s tell the taxi to wait.” So read a banner during one of Australia’s many Ashes maulings of England in the 1990s.
After a breathless and borderline ridiculous Boxing Day at the MCG, with the urn’s fate already decided and 20 wickets falling in the space of 75.1 overs, it may at least be worth scheduling an Uber home for day two – much to the chagrin of more than 90,000 ticket-holders for day three.
Ben Stokes prays for a Boxing Day miracle.Credit: Getty Images
If the MCG is cricket’s greatest colosseum – and it certainly felt that way with a record crowd of 94,199 in attendance on a cool and breezy day – then this felt less like a gladiatorial contest than bowling lions versus batting Christians.
For an England side at their wits’ end after an Ashes campaign that had been so enormously hyped only to fall in a heap in 11 days, the cross of St George was at least a useful signal for an ambulance for their sorry batters.
After being bowled out for a modest 152, Australia’s bowlers did not appear overly worried about the game situation. Rather, they simply looked eager to get their own chance, on a pitch that had been left juicy, grassy and “furry” by the curator Matt Page.
They were right to be so enthusiastic. In 29.5 overs, Mitchell Starc (2-23), Michael Neser (4-45) and Scott Boland (3-30) razed England for 110, needing some agricultural blows by Gus........