The year of ‘decentering men’ |
I can’t tell you the exact moment every other woman on my TikTok feed decided they were “decentering men,” but I’ve never heard the phrase uttered more than this past year.
The term was originally coined in 2019 by content creator and author Charlie Taylor in her book Decentering Men: How to Decenter Men, but it seems to have caught on in 2025.
The term has inspired a lot of content on TikTok — women posting videos encouraging their female followers to deprioritize finding a mate or giving tips on how they can thrive outside of romantic relationships. For a while now, the phrase “divorce him” has also become the go-to advice for married women discussing even the smallest relationship issues online.
So, it wasn’t a shock when a Vogue column titled “Is Having a Boyfriend Embarrassing Now?” instantly blew up on TikTok in October. Chanté Joseph’s piece highlighted several influencers who were hesitant about posting their partners on social media, as having a boyfriend has been considered regressive, even “Republican” to some — sometimes, resulting in angry comments. We’re in a moment in which singlehood has never been more celebrated and heterosexual relationships have been deemed uncool — according to the internet, at least.
Elsewhere in pop culture, several famous women, like actresses Julia Fox and Charlize Theron, have been open about their experiences embracing singlehood. Ross, 53, has played a role in reversing reductive notions around the “spinster,” documenting her jetsetting lifestyle on the popular Roku series Solo Traveling With Tracee Ellis Ross and going