Why You Can’t Stop Missing Your Ex, Even When the Relationship Was Terrible |
Get unlimited access to everything VICE has to offer.
Turn off all ads on VICE.com
Exclusive New VICE Documentaries
Member Exclusive Features & Columns
Turn off all ads on VICE.com
Exclusive New VICE Documentaries
Member Exclusive Features & Columns
Turn off all ads on VICE.com
Exclusive New VICE Documentaries
Member Exclusive Features & Columns
4 Magazines Delivered to Your Door
Why You Can’t Stop Missing Your Ex, Even When the Relationship Was Terrible
A therapist explains why we romanticize former partners, overlook the bad memories, and struggle to let go of relationships that ended.
Share on X (Opens in new window)X
Share on Facebook (Opens in new window)Facebook
Share using Native toolsShareCopied to clipboard
Often, after a harsh breakup, many people find themselves pining for a version of their ex that doesn’t even exist. This habit, while common and entirely human, can hinder healing and keep us stuck in rumination. In fact, there’s even a name for it: ex-nostalgia.
Are you experiencing ex-nostalgia? Here’s what you should know about the self-limiting habit.
What Is Ex Nostalgia?
Ex nostalgia involves thinking back fondly and longingly on an ex, often without acknowledging the negatives of that past relationship.
“When we long for a version of our ex, we’re often longing for a time when we felt seen, heard, and loved,” says Sara Sloan, LMFT, CST, Marriage and Family Therapist, AASECT-certified sex therapist, and certified Imago........