When Healthy Boundaries Become Toxic, According to Therapists |
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When Healthy Boundaries Become Toxic, According to Therapists
Therapists say healthy boundaries protect your own well-being, while toxic ones can become tools for control, punishment or avoidance.
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We all know that boundaries are important self-protective tools, but can they become too strict, controlling, or avoidant? Many people claim they’re setting boundaries when, really, they’re just attempting to manipulate those around them or avoid accountability altogether.
So how do you know the difference between a true, healthy boundary vs. one that’s gone too far? I spoke with a therapist to gain expert insight on this topic.
What Even Is a Boundary?
According to Tammy Nelson, PhD, licensed psychotherapist and consultant for Ashley Madison, “A boundary defines what I will or won’t participate in, what I feel comfortable with, and what I need to feel safe and respected in a relationship.”
In other words, boundaries are more about you as an individual—what you’re willing to tolerate or accept in your relationships—than about other people in your life.
“Personal boundaries can change over time,” Nelson adds. “By nature, they should have some flexibility.”
Boundaries are self-protective in nature. We can’t force anyone to do, say, or behave as........