I Thought My Breakups Meant I Was Hard to Love, Then I Learned This |
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I Thought My Breakups Meant I Was Hard to Love, Then I Learned This
You couldn’t pay me to go back to my 20s.
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Years ago, I was in my mid-20s and enduring the worst (yet not the first) breakup I’d ever experienced. Dumped by a boyfriend I had just moved in with and now sleeping in my childhood bedroom at my parents’ house, I believed I would never find love again.
But perhaps one of the worst parts of breaking up was having to delete all the evidence of my relationship from my social media. Yes, I’m aware how petty that sounds, but I was embarrassed. At the time, breaking up felt like admitting defeat, proving to everyone that I couldn’t keep a boyfriend. I must be “too much” or “hard to love,” as my brain already told me every single day.
Breakups leave us vulnerable. When you already battle toxic shame regularly, the ending of a relationship weakens you into the ideal prey for your inner critic. You’re more susceptible to the awful lies it spews, falling victim to negative self-talk and deeply ingrained beliefs about your lack of worth.
It wasn’t about Instagram or TikTok or Facebook, or even its judgmental, nosy audience. It was about my old wounds resurfacing.........