Relationship Experts Say You Decide a First Date’s Fate in the First 4 Minutes |
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Relationship Experts Say You Decide a First Date’s Fate in the First 4 Minutes
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The amount of psychological prep people put into first dates would be impressive if it actually had an effect on the outcome. The outfit research, the rehearsed questions, the strategic restaurant pick—all of it arriving fashionably late to a decision the nervous system made the moment you started the small talk.
Relationship experts say most people have already assessed romantic chemistry within the first four minutes of meeting; your drinks probably haven’t even arrived yet. Jehan Rajendra, founder of the dating app Agilis, calls this the critical processing window. “During those first few minutes, people subconsciously process a wealth of information,” he told VICE.
Rajendra says people are signaling constantly in those first minutes, usually without any deliberate intent. Open posture, the quality of eye contact, whether someone leans toward you or creates a little more distance; it’s all easier to........