Greetings, supporters of President-elect Donald Trump. In a profound act of bipartisanship and comity, I'm here to help you plan your true-to-MAGA Christmas yard decorations.
As a liberal, I’ve been called “a snowflake” by many reliable sources in the online MAGA community, making me your perfect, seasonally appropriate guide to all things Christmas.
For starters, when surveying the front yard and plotting Christmas decor, here’s the key: thematic consistency. Nobody wants to drive by or walk past a yard filled with twinkling lights and inflatable decorations that make no sense.
To that end, these are the rules you must abide by to create a MAGA-magical outdoor Christmas display, the kind that says: “I voted for a man who violates most of the teachings of the guy whose birthday we’re celebrating. LULZ!”
A manger scene is crucial, but with Trump having won the presidential election on promises to put undocumented migrants in detention camps and deport millions of them, you want to make sure your manger makes clear who’s welcome and who’s not.
The last thing any MAGA member in good standing wants is an undocumented donkey braying alongside........