His mother gave him the ‘husbands in training’ course every parent should give their kids |
Even though the marriage rate in the United States is on a steep decline, chances are that the majority of kids growing up today will get married at some point in their lives. If current trends continue, roughly 40% of those marriages will end in divorce, according to current research.
Research published in the Couple and Family Psychology journal found that the top five reasons for divorce are a lack of commitment, infidelity, too much conflict, getting married young, and financial problems.
Wouldn’t it be great if we were taught from a young age how to be a good spouse so we could avoid these pitfalls? Many of them are totally solvable with good communication and commitment from both parties. But in American culture, most of us aren’t taught the specifics of how to have a happy and healthy marriage. Most of us tend to pick things up from watching the married people in our orbit, most likely our parents.
No comment on how that’s going.
The other way we learn is by making the mistakes ourselves. By then, it’s usually too late. And the data around second and third marriages isn’t very promising when you dig into it.
One mom decided to do something about it
Artist Doug Weaver had a much different upbringing. His mother, Mickey, made a curriculum for him and his two older brothers when they were kids to help them be great husbands when they got married.
You’ve heard of things like “Mom-Son Date Night” (some dads and daughters do it, too) where mothers will take their boys out on a “date” so they can learn basic chivalry and manners?
Weaver’s training was like that on steroids.
“When I was a kid, my mom did this thing for me and my two older brothers called ‘Husbands in Training,’” he explained in a TikTok video that has more than 5.9 million views. “It was a full, multiple-level curriculum on how to be a better husband.”
@dougweaverart Husbands in training! #parenting #storytime #story ♬ original sound – dougweaverart
Husbands in training! #parenting #storytime #story ♬ original sound – dougweaverart
Weaver says the training covered topics from chivalry to eating to a rather uncomfortable discussion on “the ethics of the porn industry.” His mother also stressed the importance of listening to women and identifying when another man may be giving them trouble.
“There was a lot of really good stuff in that curriculum,” Doug said. “There were things like what to do if your spouse says something and the information they give is wrong. How to handle it if they say something wrong in public versus in private, when it is appropriate to correct them and when it isn’t.”
Weaver’s mother was also way ahead of her time because she made a big deal about teaching her sons the importance of consent. “We talked about consent, we talked about the basics of respecting and honoring women and listening to women, and all of the things that really just make you a decent human being,” Doug explained.
A young Doug must have absolutely hated sitting through conversations with his mom about porn, sex, and consent… but as a grown man, he looks back on the lessons fondly.
The curriculum was so good, dad enrolled too
The lessons were so powerful that even Weaver’s father decided to take the course. “A lot of the things that we were learning from my mom were things that he was never taught growing up,” Weaver said. “So, he decided he also wanted to take ‘Husbands in Training.’”
It brings to mind pre-marriage counseling or couples therapy. Programs are often offered (or mandated) through churches, so they aren’t usually a great fit for the non-religious. And couples without active “problems” may resist the idea of attending couples therapy due to the stubborn stigma around it.
The course officially ended when Weaver and his brothers got married. “My mom even made certificates of completion that she signed and gave to each of us on our wedding day,” he shared in his TikTok clip.
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However, the video Weaver shared was so popular on TikTok that he’s making his mother’s course available to the general public. “After posting about ‘Husbands in Training’ on TikTok, the TT community really wants my mom to produce content about raising boys to be good men,” he wrote on a GoFundMe fundraising campaign in 2022.
Now the lessons are available to everyone
The overwhelming response to Weaver’s TikTok has inspired a YouTube channel to spread Mickey’s lessons far and wide. But it has also made a lot of people realize that teaching people how to be great spouses is a lifelong journey and should be a major part of child-rearing. Learning how to be a good spouse shouldn’t just be something we pick up by accident.
As for Doug Weaver, his training appears to be paying off in the form of a happy marriage. He has since said he plans to adapt the curriculum for his own children, with a particular focus on consent and healthy conflict resolution.
This article originally appeared four years ago. It has been updated.
A single door can open up a world of endless possibilities. For homeowners, the front door of their house is a gateway to financial stability, job security, and better health. Yet for many, that door remains closed. Due to the rising costs of housing, 1 in 3 people around the world wake up without the security of safe, affordable housing.
Since 1976, Habitat for Humanity has made it their mission to unlock and open the door to opportunity for families everywhere, and their efforts have paid off in a big way. Through their work over the past 50 years, more than 65 million people have gained access to new or improved housing, and the movement continues to gain momentum. Since 2011 alone, Habitat for Humanity has expanded access to affordable housing by a hundredfold.
A world where everyone has access to a decent home is becoming a reality, but there’s still much to do. As they celebrate 50 years of building, Habitat for Humanity is inviting people of all backgrounds and talents to be part of what comes next through Let’s Open the Door, a global campaign that builds on this momentum and encourages people everywhere to help expand access to safe, affordable housing for those who need it most. Here’s how the foundation to a better world starts with housing, and how everyone can pitch in to make it happen.
Globally, almost 3 billion people, including 1 in 6 U.S. families, struggle with high costs and other challenges related to housing. A crisis in itself, this also creates larger problems that affect families and communities in unexpected ways. People who lack affordable, stable housing are also more likely to experience financial hardship in other areas of their lives, since a larger share of their income often goes toward rent, utilities, and frequent moves. They are also more likely to experience health problems due to chronic stress or environmental factors, such as mold. Housing insecurity also goes hand-in-hand with unstable employment, since people may need to move further from their jobs or switch jobs altogether to offset the cost of housing.
Affordable homeownership creates a stable foundation for families to thrive, reducing stress and increasing the likelihood for good health and stable employment. Habitat for Humanity builds and repairs homes with individual families, but it also strengthens entire communities as well. The MicroBuild® Initiative, for example, strengthens communities by increasing access to loans for low-income families seeking to build or repair their homes. Habitat ReStore locations provide affordable appliances and building materials to local communities, in addition to creating job and volunteer opportunities that support neighborhood growth.
Everyone can play a part in the fight for housing equity and the pursuit of a better world. Over the past 50 years, Habitat for Humanity has become a leader in global housing thanks to an engaged network of volunteers—but you don’t need to be skilled with a hammer to make a meaningful impact. Building an equitable future means calling on a wide range of people and talents.Here’s how you can get involved in the global housing movement:
Speaking up on social media about the growing housing crisis
Volunteering on a Habitat for Humanity build in your local community
Travel and build with Habitat in the U.S. or in one of 60 countries where we work around the globe
Join the Let’s Open the Door movement and, when you donate, you can create your own personalized door
Shop or donate at your local Habitat ReStore
Every action, big and small, drives a global movement toward a better future. A safe home unlocks opportunity for families and communities alike, but it’s volunteers and other supporters, working together with a shared vision, who can open the door for everyone.
Visit habitat.org/open-door to learn more and get involved today.
The recent trend of parents going out of their way to give their children unique names has brought up a lot of discussion on social media. Some of these names sound cute when a child is 5 years old. But will Caeleigh, Zoomer or Rhyedyr look like a serious adult on a job application in a few years?
A recent viral video on TikTok is a unique twist on the current discussion surrounding names. Samantha Hart has a name that doesn’t seem like it would draw any negative attention in professional circles. However, her parents didn’t consider email conventions when they named her back in the late ‘90s when email was new.
Her name was fine, but her email was not
“My name is Samantha Hart,” she said. “Most companies use the email designation of first initial, last name, meaning my email would be ‘shart.’” For the uninitiated, a “shart” is an unintentional release when one thinks they only have gas. Yikes.
@thesam_show sorry if i talk about this problem too much but it is HAPPENING AGAIN!! ♬ original sound – Sam Showalter
sorry if i talk about this problem too much but it is HAPPENING AGAIN!!
The issue arose because Samantha has had two “professional” jobs in the past in which her name has been an issue. So, as she began a third job, she wondered how to approach the situation with a new employer.
“At every single workplace, I have received an email from HR the week before I start letting me know that my name does not exactly fit the company email structure as they would intend and [asked] would I mind if they gave me a different structure for my email,” Hart said.
So she asked her followers on TikTok if she should just “reach out, right off the bat” to her........