Communication expert shares 2-step method for talking to people who never admit they're wrong |
Some folks in this world just have to be right. All the time. Even when you present them with every fact imaginable that proves they are wrong, they will resort to any rhetorical tactic they can to make it seem as though they are right. If that doesn't work, they turn to personal attacks.
People like this can be infuriating to deal with because talking to them is like screaming at a wall. Fortunately, communication expert Jefferson Fisher recently shared a two-step method on TikTok for dealing with these impossible people.
Fisher, who has become massively popular online, offers tips "to help people argue less and talk more."
How to handle someone who is always right. 3 steps from @ Jefferson Fisher #power #insporation
Here is Fisher's two-step process for dealing with people who will never admit they are wrong:
"Know that the harder we work to prove that they're wrong, the more convinced they are that they're right," he says. "So what you're gonna do is diffuse that by just saying something simple as well, 'maybe you're right,' or 'maybe so.' That diffuses the whole situation."
Fisher says you can encourage the other person to explore your ideas by saying: " 'It's helpful for me to know that you're at least considering my thoughts, even if you don't agree with me.' Now you've made a safe space to have a discussion that's not threatening their identity. That's how you talk to somebody who thinks they're always right. So try that."
Two woman having a heart-to-heart conversation. via Canva/Photos
In his video, Fisher notes that people who won't admit when they are wrong have developed an identity based on always being correct. That's why, when they're confronted with the possibility that they may be incorrect, they will do anything to avoid admitting it.
Research shows that when people feel their identity is being attacked, they perceive it as an affront to their authenticity and value as human beings. This can lead to a physical reaction known as the amygdala hijack, where people feel as if they are being physically threatened. That's a big reason some people get enraged when discussing politics or religion. If their views on these issues are closely tied to their identity and those views are challenged, it can invalidate their entire sense of self.
A man who has dug in his heels. via Canva/Photos
Fisher explains that the harder we try to prove someone wrong, the more convinced they become they're right, due to a psychological phenomenon known as the "backfire effect." When people are shown facts that clearly contradict their views, they often cling to those beliefs even more strongly. That's because those beliefs are tied to emotion, not facts. When their views are challenged, it triggers defensiveness, and the brain works to protect their self-image rather than reconsider the belief.
Getting through to stubborn people who always think they're right isn't easy, but Fisher's advice can help break through the wall they erect when their beliefs are challenged. It's good for you and the other person. When you're never wrong, you never learn from your mistakes, and that can quickly lead to problems far worse than admitting you were wrong.
Millennial parents and Boomer grandparents don't always see eye to eye on parenting and grandparenting. Now, Millennial parents are uniting on a nightmare Boomer grandparenting trend that sees them "excessively gifting" their grandkids with tons of both new and old *unwanted* stuff during visits.
Ohio mom Rose Grady (@nps.in.a.pod) shared her "Boomer grandparent" experience in a funny and relatable video. "Just a millennial mom watching her boomer parents bring three full loads of 'treasures' into her home," she wrote in the overlay.
Grady can be seen looking out the window of her home at her Boomer mom and dad carrying bags and boxes up her driveway after several visits. The distressed and contemplative look on Grady's is speaking to plenty of Millennial moms.
Today's "treasure" highlight was the mobile that hung in my nursery... #boomerparents #boomers #boomersbelike #millennialsoftiktok #millenialmom #motherdaughter
Grady captioned the video, "Today's 'treasure' highlight was the mobile that hung in my nursery..."
The humorous video resonated with with fellow Millennial parents. "Straight to the trash when they leave," one viewer commented. Another added, "I always say 'if you don’t want it in yours, we don’t want it in ours' 😂."
Even more Millennial parents have shared and discussed their situations with Boomer grandparents buying their kids too much stuff on Reddit. "Both my mother and my MIL love buying and sending toys, books, clothes, etc. I don't want to be ungrateful but we just don't need it and don't have the space. I have brought this up politely in 'we are all out of drawers for that' but it hasn't slowed things down," one explained. "I think part of the issue is that the grandparents live in different cities and vacation a lot. They don't get to see our daughter much so they buy stuff instead."
Another Millennial parent shared, "While the intention is very kind behind these, all the grandparents are very aware that we do not need, nor wish to receive these gifts in such an excessive volume - as it creates a daily struggle to store and accommodate in our home. I struggle to keep on top of tidying as it is, and this is a massive added challenge."
Millennial mom struggles to organize her son's room.Image via Canva/fotostorm
So, why are Boomer grandparents excessively gifting? "Boomer grandparents may be the first grandparent generation to have accumulated the substantial discretionary funds that enables them to spend money on their grandchildren," Sari Goodman, a Certified Parent Educator and founder of Parental Edge, tells Upworthy. "These grandparents probably grew up with grandparents who didn’t have that kind of money and so they may be excited to give their grandchildren the things they didn’t get."
Goodman suggests that Millennial parents first discuss with them the "why" behind the gifting. "What comes before setting a boundary to limit over-the-top gift-giving is delving into the reasons grandparents are buying so much," she explains. "Coming from a place of compassion and understanding makes it possible to come up with mutually beneficial solutions."
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