Most married couples are aware of the alarming statistics: About 40-50% of first marriages are destined to end in divorce. On the bright side, that’s a number that has been falling steadily since the 1980s as people get married later and are more selective before settling down. On the bleaker side, it still means that “happily ever after” is hardly a guarantee.

Couples who are determined to buck the trend all have their own approach. It could be proactive couples’ therapy, a weekly date night, or the classic “never go to bed angry.” Some even have hard “rules” that neither is allowed to break, all in the name of protecting the relationship.

Couples coach shares the rules that she actually uses in her own marriage

Adele is a relationship coach who runs Happy Couples Connect. She has over half a million followers on social media and teaches adults “how to communicate in a healthy way so you can feel heard, valued, loved, and respected in your relationship.”

On Instagram, her bio tagline reads: “This page is for you if marriage is hard right now but you’re not ready to give up.”

Adele’s content resonates with her audience because she’s not afraid to share the real, uncomfortable truths from her own relationship. She says there was a time when there wasn’t a disagreement that wasn’t met with an explosive fight or a silent treatment. Fixing that is what inspired Adele to start her practice.

In a recent post on Instagram, Adele shares the five rules that she and her wife “never break.” She adds that a few years ago, these rules “didn’t exist” and the couple were on the brink of divorce.

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The five rules of marriage, according to this relationship coach. Experts agree.

Adele lists out her relationship’s rules in the caption, and while it starts off with a few easier-said-than-done common sense policies, there are a few surprises on the list:

“Rule 1: We treat each other like two humans, not two perfect robots. We both mess up. Expecting perfection does not raise the standard. It just grows resentment.”

Other relationship experts might call this assuming the best in your partner. It’s terrific life advice when dealing with anyone you like, love, or respect. Come into disagreements with the understanding that they care and are trying, not assuming bad intentions.

“Rule 2: We choose to focus on what the other is doing right. The more we look for it, the more we see it. What you focus on expands. We choose to make that a gift.”

A natural tie-in to Rule 1, but it’s definitely easier to preach than to put into practice. It’s easy to nitpick and criticize all the little things our partner doesn’t do for us, meanwhile we’re overlooking the dozens of other things they are doing. It’s a rapid way to build resentment or contempt, which is the number one predictor of divorce.

“Rule 3: No phones after dinner. Because if they are within reach we will scroll, disconnect, and then wonder why we do not feel close.”

Tons of research has been done to show that cell phones can negatively impact our relationships if we’re not careful. In basic terms, scrolling your phone when your partner is nearby can make them feel less important. “When we sit down for dinner with our famlies and we put the phone on the table, it sends a psychological message to everyone sitting there that ‘You are not the most important thing to me right now,” says Simon Sinek.

“Rule 4: No hard conversations after 9 p.m. Late at night everything feels bigger than it is. We talk when we are rested, not exhausted.”

This is a popular concept in therapy and counseling circles. Not only does getting into a heated argument right before bed ruin your sleep, thereby making you crankier the next day, these arguments escalate more than they would during the day.

“Your amygdala (your emotional alarm system) becomes more reactive when you’re sleep-deprived or simply tired at the end of a long day. This combination means you’re more likely to perceive threat or criticism in neutral statements, react more defensively, say things you don’t mean, and struggle to see your partner’s perspective,” writes Quadra Wellness.

“Rule 5: A 30 second hug before any hard conversation. It lowers tension, reminds us we are on the same team and resets our nervous systems before we say a word.”

A hug is one of the most powerful human acts. A long, genuine hug with someone you love lowers stress, boosts oxytocin (the love hormone that makes you feel deep bonds and connection), and makes you happier. This puts you in a much more stable mindset before tackling hard conversations.

Relationship and communication skills don’t grow without effort

You’d think that being with someone for a long time would mean steadily learning to improve your communication over the years. That’s not always the case. In fact, often the opposite happens.

Little disagreements and petty grudges don’t get communicated effectively. They’re kept inside and they snowball into criticism, contempt, defensiveness, or stonewalling. These are what groundbreaking marriage therapist John Gottman calls “the four horsemen.” Once these start showing up regularly in your relationships, you’re in big trouble.

Even the best couples have to work at their communication skills constantly. Not everyone writes their rules down; sometimes they’re unspoken. But even silly or clinical sounding rules like these can turn a good relationship into one that’s really prepared to last a lifetime.

A single door can open up a world of endless possibilities. For homeowners, the front door of their house is a  gateway to financial stability, job security, and better health. Yet for many, that door remains closed. Due to the rising costs of housing, 1 in 3 people around the world wake up without the security of safe, affordable housing. 

Since 1976, Habitat for Humanity has made it their mission to unlock and open the door to opportunity for families everywhere, and their efforts have paid off in a big way. Through their work over the past 50 years, more than 65 million people have gained access to new or improved housing, and the movement continues to gain momentum. Since 2011 alone, Habitat for Humanity has expanded access to affordable housing by a hundredfold. 

A world where everyone has access to a decent home is becoming a reality, but there’s still much to do. As they celebrate 50 years of building, Habitat for Humanity is inviting people of all backgrounds and talents to be part of what comes next through Let’s Open the Door, a global campaign that builds on this momentum and encourages people everywhere to help expand access to safe, affordable housing for those who need it most. Here’s how the foundation to a better world starts with housing, and how everyone can pitch in to make it happen. 

Globally, almost 3 billion people, including 1 in 6 U.S. families, struggle with high costs and other challenges related to housing. A crisis in itself, this also creates larger problems that affect families and communities in unexpected ways. People who lack affordable, stable housing are also more likely to experience financial hardship in other areas of their lives, since a larger share of their income often goes toward rent, utilities, and frequent moves. They are also more likely to experience health problems due to chronic stress or environmental factors, such as mold. Housing insecurity also goes hand-in-hand with unstable employment, since people may need to move further from their jobs or switch jobs altogether to offset the cost of housing. 

Affordable homeownership creates a stable foundation for families to thrive, reducing stress and increasing the likelihood for good health and stable employment. Habitat for Humanity builds and repairs homes with individual families, but it also strengthens entire communities as well. The MicroBuild® Initiative, for example, strengthens communities by increasing access to  loans for low-income families seeking to build or repair their homes. Habitat ReStore locations provide affordable appliances and building materials to local communities, in addition to creating job and volunteer opportunities that support neighborhood growth. 

Everyone can play a part in the fight for housing equity and the pursuit of a better world. Over the past 50 years, Habitat for Humanity has become a leader in global housing thanks to an engaged network of volunteers—but you don’t need to be skilled with a hammer to make a meaningful impact. Building an equitable future means calling on a wide range of people and talents.Here’s how you can get involved in the global housing movement:

Speaking up on social media about the growing housing crisis 

Volunteering on a Habitat for Humanity build in your local community

Travel and build with Habitat in the U.S. or  in one of 60   countries where we work around the globe

Join the Let’s Open the Door movement and, when you donate, you can create your own personalized door 

Shop or donate at your local Habitat ReStore

Every action, big and small, drives a global movement toward a better future. A safe home unlocks opportunity for families and communities alike, but it’s volunteers and other supporters, working together with a shared vision, who can open the door for everyone. 

Visit habitat.org/open-door to learn more and get involved today. 

A woman walked into a Subway and left without her sandwich. Not because they were out of bread, or because the restaurant closed. Because the employee behind the counter decided she didn’t deserve one.

TikTok user Charlie (@charlie_kincade) happened to be in the store when it happened and captured the whole thing on video. It has since been viewed millions of times.

The clip opens mid-argument, with a woman in a pink and white striped shirt demanding that an employee finish making her sandwich. The employee’s response was simple and direct: “No, I won’t finish it because you need to respect me.”

@charlie_kincade I felt so bad for the server. She was doing her job and this woman started yelling at her. #KarenGoneWild #SheWasHangry #RespectYourServers #TheAudacityOfThisWoman #ThisIsSadAF ♬ original sound – Charlie

I felt so bad for the server. She was doing her job and this woman started yelling at her. #KarenGoneWild #SheWasHangry #RespectYourServers #TheAudacityOfThisWoman #ThisIsSadAF

The customer escalated. “Well, you need to respect your customers. I’ll tell them you don’t respect your customers. Would you finish my sandwich?”

The employee said nothing. Instead, she turned to Charlie and asked what she’d like to order. A cold cut trio. While that sandwich was being made, another employee greeted the next customer in line. The woman in the striped shirt stood there, increasingly incredulous, shouting “Finish my sandwich!” into a store that had simply moved on without her.

She demanded they call a supervisor. Nobody called a supervisor. Eventually she walked out.

“I felt so bad for the server,” Charlie wrote in her caption. “She was doing her job and this woman started yelling at her.”

The comments disagreed with the “felt so bad” framing — they were mostly thrilled. “Ms. Subway, that was the best ignore job I’ve ever seen in my life! She couldn’t believe it,” wrote one viewer. “I used to be a fast food worker and politely ignoring rude customers works every time,” added another. “It takes two to argue. They eventually just leave.”

Others noted the employee had found something more effective than any confrontation: she stated her position once, clearly, and then simply declined to have the argument the customer wanted to have. There was nothing left to escalate against.

Rude customer behavior in food service has been well documented since the pandemic. A 2021 survey found that 62 percent of restaurant employees had experienced emotional abuse or disrespect from customers, and a separate poll found that 39 percent of food service workers had quit specifically due to customer hostility and harassment.

The Subway employee in the video did not quit. She finished making Charlie’s sandwich.

You can follow Charlie (@charlie_kincade) on TikTok for more lifestyle content.

The important one-sentence rule, “no means no” remains one of the most steadfast lessons for human beings. It has been a key learning tool, frankly, for all people, whether kids or adults, men or women, young or old, etc. But over time, those words, while still true and necessary, have become cliché to some. Some seem to think they can push a boundary until the “no” became a “yes.”

An Instagram Reel has recently begun circulating showing a man in front of a group of young, male students. He is role-playing with a woman and asking her for a hug. She says, “No,” but he keeps pushing and then attempts to gaslight her into thinking it’s “crazy” she doesn’t want said hug. He then turns to the students and asks, “What just happened?”

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