Gay man learning how to say goodbye ‘like a straight man’ is pure comedy gold |
It’s no secret that there are certain mannerisms and speech patterns we often associate with being gay. The phenomenon of so-called “gay mannerisms” and voice has actually been the subject of quite a bit of scientific research. One study from 2002 found that people were able to accurately predict the sexual orientation of a speaker just by hearing their voice about 62% of the time. Researchers theorize that some, but certainly not all, gay men may adopt more feminine mannerisms and voice patterns as a form of subconscious social signaling.
It’s much more complicated than that, though. The way gay men speak and behave is as diverse and varied as the community itself: which is to say, very.
But one more pressing question remains: If “gay mannerisms” can be categorized and studied, can those of the heterosexual male be quantified? And, more importantly, can they be learned?
Comedic experiment ensues
Content creator Kai Cameron was up to the challenge. The openly gay TikTok star recently launched a tongue-in-cheek 30-day challenge where he attempts to learn how to do and say things “like a straight man.”
On Day 1, Cameron’s brother teaches him how to sit down like a straight man. On Day 4, they move onto answering the phone. Day 7 features more advanced material: entering a party the way a straight man would. Cameron learns to sway his hips less, talk in a deeper tone of voice, and suppress any hint of enthusiasm.
On Day 11, Cameron was ready to tackle the simple but crucial task of saying “Goodbye,” to a friend. His instructor in the clip, this time actor and filmmaker Peter Falls, demonstrates a textbook, nonchalant “Alright, see ya later,” with a barely perceptible hand-gesture-wave-kind-of-thing. Straight guys will instantly recognize it and notice Falls’ impeccable form.
The words come easily enough for Cameron, but he gets stuck on the hand movements. “Can you do the finger thing again?” he asks, before trying it with a dramatic wave. “That’s way too much,” Falls says.
After a little more practice, though, Cameron’s mostly got it. He confidently walks forward, chest puffed out, body stiff, and drops his voice a few octaves before muttering “See ya, man,” with a small (for him) flick of the wrist.
View this post on Instagram
Viewers find the videos hilarious but revealing
Does the video series mine humor at the expense of people who exhibit “gay mannerisms?” On the contrary: thousands of commenters say that it’s rare to see such a brilliant dissection of the straight man.
Many noticed that so much of the demeanor comes from the eyes:
“U just have to lose the light in your eyes,” one commenter wrote.
“I love how the light leaves your eyes everytime and then comes right back,” said another.
“It’s the dead eyes when channeling straight man,” another echoed.
Other viewers went even deeper and more philosophical:
“No whimsy, no enthusiasm, nothing,” someone said.
“Watching [your] content has taught me a lot about what it looks like from the outside to be a straight guy. Just beat up by life. Body language which clearly indicates no one cares about you, so you stay reserved,” one commenter noted.
“I think some cultures have done a ton of damage by brainwashing boys and men into hiding vulnerability, sensitivity or even just being themselves. That takes a psychological toll. A lot of men don’t stay reserved because no one cares but because society (other men) teach them that tough men have to keep it all in. It is not healthy for you,” another said.
A third summed it up: “Basically just act depressed while doing all things and you got it!
View this post on Instagram
The fascinating origins of voice, body language, and mannerisms
Cameron’s social media video series is incredible comedy and entertainment, but it’s also a brilliant educational demonstration.
“Straight voice” isn’t just the absence of the more feminine qualities of “gay voice.” It is, itself, a learned and socially constructed behavior.
“When men enjoy doing things that are typically associated with women or femininity such as shopping, grooming their nails, giggling, etc., they are often quickly labeled as gay or soft and are negatively evaluated by many members of society,” Ayana Ali, a clinical social worker and therapist, told AskMen.
Even many gay men feel self-conscious about their voice and mannerisms, and may even mask them to adopt more traditionally masculine qualities in certain situations.
It’s an incredibly complex web of social conditioning, how we’re raised, biology, sociology, culture, gender norms, and more.
But it’s never been more hilariously deconstructed than in Cameron’s 30-day challenge.
A single door can open up a world of endless possibilities. For homeowners, the front door of their house is a gateway to financial stability, job security, and better health. Yet for many, that door remains closed. Due to the rising costs of housing, 1 in 3 people around the world wake up without the security of safe, affordable housing.
Since 1976, Habitat for Humanity has made it their mission to unlock and open the door to opportunity for families everywhere, and their efforts have paid off in a big way. Through their work over the past 50 years, more than 65 million people have gained access to new or improved housing, and the movement continues to gain momentum. Since 2011 alone, Habitat for Humanity has expanded access to affordable housing by a hundredfold.
A world where everyone has access to a decent home is becoming a reality, but there’s still much to do. As they celebrate 50 years of building, Habitat for Humanity is inviting people of all backgrounds and talents to be part of what comes next through Let’s Open the Door, a global campaign that builds on this momentum and encourages people everywhere to help expand access to safe, affordable housing for those who need it most. Here’s how the foundation to a better world starts with housing, and how everyone can pitch in to make it happen.
Globally, almost 3 billion people, including 1 in 6 U.S. families, struggle with high costs and other challenges related to housing. A crisis in itself, this also creates larger problems that affect families and communities in unexpected ways. People who lack affordable, stable housing are also more likely to experience financial hardship in other areas of their lives, since a larger share of their income often goes toward rent, utilities, and frequent moves. They are also more likely to experience health problems due to chronic stress or environmental factors, such as mold. Housing insecurity also goes hand-in-hand with unstable employment, since people may need to move further from their jobs or switch jobs altogether to offset the cost of housing.
Affordable homeownership creates a stable foundation for families to thrive, reducing stress and increasing the likelihood for good health and stable employment. Habitat for Humanity builds and repairs homes with individual families, but it also strengthens entire communities as well. The MicroBuild® Initiative, for example, strengthens communities by increasing access to loans for low-income families seeking to build or repair their homes. Habitat ReStore locations provide affordable appliances and building materials to local communities, in addition to creating job and volunteer opportunities that support neighborhood growth.
Everyone can play a part in the fight for housing equity and the pursuit of a better world. Over the past 50 years, Habitat for Humanity has become a leader in global housing thanks to an engaged network of volunteers—but you don’t need to be skilled with a hammer to make a meaningful impact. Building an equitable future means calling on a wide range of people and talents.Here’s how you can get involved in the global housing movement:
Speaking up on social media about the growing housing crisis
Volunteering on a Habitat for Humanity build in your local community
Travel and build with Habitat in the U.S. or in one of 60 countries where we work around the globe
Join the Let’s Open the Door movement and, when you donate, you can create your own personalized door
Shop or donate at your local Habitat ReStore
Every action, big and small, drives a global movement toward a better future. A safe home unlocks opportunity for families and communities alike, but it’s volunteers and other supporters, working together with a shared vision, who can open the door for everyone.
Visit habitat.org/open-door to learn more and get involved today.
Canadian astronaut Chris Hadfield hasn’t seen Earth from as far away as the Artemis II astronauts who circled the Moon, but after completing three space missions, including a six-month stint as commander of the International Space Station (ISS), he is familiar with the “overview effect” in a way few humans ever experience.
In 2013, Hadfield captured what it feels like to see our home from space in a song he performed with Barenaked Ladies. While he played guitar and sang from the ISS, the band and the Wexford Collegiate School for the Arts Glee Club (aka “Wexford Gleeks”) performed alongside him from Earth.
The song is called “(I.S.S.) Is Somebody Singing,” and it’s all the more moving in light of the images from Artemis II.
Here’s a sampling of the lyrics:
Pushed back in my seat
That ball of shiny blue
Houses everybody anybody ever knew
The song takes us on a journey: we fly out to space, around the Earth, and return home again, all while looking out the window at our beautiful planet. The visual of people singing from Earth, their “voices bouncing off the Moon,” takes on even greater significance now that we’ve returned there.
Even though the video is 13 years old, people are revisiting it now with new appreciation:
“I keep coming back to this everytime there’s a significant step forward in space exploration! and it’s the perfect time to watch this for Artemis II!”
“Coming back to this after watching the Artemis II launch, and it feels so magical knowing they’re going back to the moon for all of us. These launches really make me feel connected to all of humanity.”
“Cried to this as the Artemis crew returned to earth. Watching the earth grow larger through the window, seeing the glow of reentry, the clouds passing by and the big red and white parachutes.”
Some people have asked how it was possible for the musicians to play live together without a delay. In interviews with astronauts on the ISS, there is often a lag in communications. But that’s less of an issue for a song like this than one might expect. Most likely, Hadfield played and sang live from the ISS, while the band and choir followed along with the transmission as they heard it.
As someone explained in a Quora inquiry:
“I actually know some performers who have performed with Chris Hadfield (not Hatfield) while he was on the ISS—Trent-Severn, three women from Ontario. It’s actually quite easy. He plays his guitar and sings. It’s beamed down from the ISS to a ground station, then transmitted by whatever method works (internet, phone lines, satellite link) to get to the destination, where it goes into the sound board. The sound man or woman sends it to the main PA speakers and to the stage monitors so that the performers can hear it. And they just play along with it as they hear it. It doesn’t matter that he actually played it a second or two before. They just........