We live in an age of unlimited choice, thanks to modern technology. At any given time, most of us have access to the entirety of recorded music, thousands of on-demand movies, and even more individual episodes of our favorite shows.

This amount of choice is enough to make a person’s brain combust, especially when that person is a child.

Therapist says “parenting was easier in the 90s” and has a clever idea to fix it

Stephanie Wise, a licensed couples therapist and coach, recently took to social media to share one of her most effective and unique parenting hacks.

“Parenting was easier in the 90s (and no one wants to admit why),” the YouTube video headline reads.

She goes on to explain her favorite hack: “Bring back ’90s tech.”

“One of the hardest parts of parenting is that everything is available all the time. Every show, every song, every snack, every answer, every distraction. And then we wonder why our kids struggle when the answer is No,” she said.

Setting up an old tube TV in the living room with only basic channels sounds great, but it isn’t super feasible in the modern world. So what Wise does in her household is create a “TV schedule” in which “certain shows only play on certain days,” she said.

An example schedule she drew up on a whiteboard shows that Sunday is for Bluey, Wednesday is for Spidey and His Amazing Friends, and Thursday is for Puffin Rock. Other days include a few options—such as The Joy of Painting or Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood, old-school choices—or may call for a movie, where the kids can pick from a limited supply of physical VHS tapes.

Choices are either extremely limited or nonexistent most days, and it makes her life much simpler.

“There are almost no natural limits anymore, so parents have to become the limit,” Wise said. “All day long. And it’s so exhausting.”

This is just one small way she gives everyone a well-deserved mental break.

Well over a million people watched Wise’s video across YouTube and other social media platforms, with commenters weighing in on how the advice resonated with them.

“The other thing you’re doing is bringing back that feeling of specialness we had when we couldn’t have everything on demand. That’s priceless,” one person wrote.

“This is so brilliant. You’re also giving your kids the ability to wait, to be bored, to adapt. Those are invaluable in this instant gratification age,” another wrote.

The kids are more relaxed with fewer choices and have a new “bad guy” to blame

Wise says that her TV schedule doesn’t just make her own life easier—it eliminates the daily battles: Can I watch this? How about this? No, I don’t like this. Change it to something else.

If the kids aren’t happy with what’s on TV, Mom is no longer the bad guy—the schedule is.

She also turns any frustration into a teachable moment: “I know, babe, waiting is so hard. I wish it was Spidey day, too.”

Not only are kids more than capable of surviving such a cruel exercise in deprivation, it’s actually good for them. Wise says she uses a similar technique in the car, listening only to the radio (no Spotify), and jokes that sometimes the kids have to deal with “a song they hate and have to survive for three minutes…That’s frustration tolerance, baby.”

What is frustration tolerance? It shouldn’t come as a huge shock that it’s not great for kids (or anyone) to get exactly what they want all the time. “I try to give her opportunities to learn to cope with frustration, boredom, or disappointment,” Wise said. “I don’t want her to feel overwhelmed or controlled by her emotions, so that’s important to me.”

Researchers agree with Wise that frustration management is a crucial skill for kids to learn before becoming adults.

Her method also reduces decision fatigue for all parties involved.

Decision fatigue, especially in an era of unlimited access, can be absolutely exhausting. Research even shows that people who have to make too many decisions day in and day out can simply give up and suffer from a severe lack of willpower.

Wise tells Upworthy that she and her husband aim to keep things as simple as possible for themselves when it comes to dinner menus and weekend plans, but it’s even more important for the kids. This is where she breaks from some of the more traditional parenting advice:

“For kids, we keep it simple. I don’t do choices on things like which cup or plate or spoon. I don’t do choices for clothes. For some kids that might be helpful—let them make ‘unimportant’ choices so they don’t fight the important things—but for my daughter, I found it stressed her out and resulted in way more tantrums.”

Wise admits, though, that what works for her and her family may not be right for everyone.

@sarah.sahmdaycare We went on a full screen break a few months ago because my kids were just way too attached and overstimulated. Now we watch low stimulation shows and no tablets, phones, etc unless we’re traveling. These are our current favorites and where to find them! 🤍 #toddler #toddlerscreentime #lowstimulatingshows #momsoftiktok #fyp #screentime #toddlertvshows ♬ Little Things – Adrián Berenguer

We went on a full screen break a few months ago because my kids were just way too attached and overstimulated. Now we watch low stimulation shows and no tablets, phones, etc unless we’re traveling. These are our current favorites and where to find them! 🤍 #toddler #toddlerscreentime #lowstimulatingshows #momsoftiktok #fyp #screentime #toddlertvshows ♬ Little Things – Adrián Berenguer

Wise is part of a growing movement that aims to bring back the lower-stimulation childhood many Millennials and Gen Xers grew up with. Research suggests that the media kids watch can be especially impactful, and slower-paced cartoons like Franklin or Arthur may help children with emotional regulation.

The data coming to light on modern kids’ television, screen time, and social media is alarming, but opting out completely feels difficult. Wise’s method struck a chord with other parents because it’s a simple tweak that can make a huge difference.

While a bottle of bubbles might seem out of place in a hospital setting, you might be surprised to learn that, for thousands of children around the world born with cleft lip and palate, they can be a helpful tool in comprehensive cleft care. Lilia, who was born with cleft lip and palate in 2020, is one of the many patients who received this care. 

As a toddler, Lilia underwent two surgeries to treat cleft lip and palate with Operation Smile’s surgical program in Puebla, Mexico. Because of Operation Smile’s comprehensive care, it wasn’t long before her personality transformed: Lilia went from a quiet and withdrawn toddler to an exuberant, curious explorer, babbling, expressing herself with a variety of sounds, and engaging with others like any child her age. 

Lilia is now a healthy five-year-old, with the same cheerful attitude and boundless energy. Her progress is the result of care at every level, from surgery to speech therapy to ongoing support at home—but it’s also evidence that small, sustained interventions throughout it all can make a meaningful difference. 

Cleft Conditions: A Global Problem

Since 1982, Operation Smile has provided cleft lip and cleft palate surgeries to more than 500,000 patients worldwide with the help of generous volunteers and donors. Cleft conditions are congenital conditions, meaning they are present at birth. With cleft lip and palate, the lip or the roof of the mouth do not form fully during fetal development. Cleft conditions put children at risk for malnutrition and poor weight gain, since their facial structure can make feeding challenging. But cleft conditions can have an enormous social impact as well: Common difficulties with speech can leave kids socially isolated and unable to meet the same developmental milestones as their peers. 

Surgery is a vital step in treating cleft conditions, but it’s also just one part of a much larger solution. Organizations like Operation Smile emphasize the importance of multi-disciplinary teams that provide comprehensive, long-term care to patients across many years. This approach, which includes oral care, speech therapy, nutritional support, and psychosocial care, not only aids in physical recovery from surgery but also helps children develop the skills and confidence to eat easily, speak clearly, and engage in everyday life. This ensures that each patient receives the full range of support they need to thrive. 

A Playful (and Powerful) Solution

Throughout a patient’s care, simple tools like bubbles can play a meaningful role from start to finish. 

Immediately before surgery, children are often in a new and unfamiliar environment far from home, some of them experiencing a hospital setting for the first time. When care providers or loved ones blow bubbles, it’s a simple yet effective technique: Not only are the children soothed and distracted, the bubbles also help create a sense of joy and playfulness that eases their anxiety. 

In speech therapy, bubbles can take on an even more important role. Blowing bubbles requires controlled airflow, as well as the ability to form a rounded “O” shape with the lips, which are skills that children with cleft conditions may struggle to develop. Practicing these skills with bubbles allows children to gently strengthen their facial muscles, improve breath control, and support the motor skills needed for speech development. Beyond that, blowing bubbles can help kids connect with their parents or providers in a way that’s playful, comforting, and accessible even for very young patients. 

Finally, bubbles often........

© Upworthy