George Washington offered wise advice on why friendships should develop like ‘a plant of slow growth’ |
George Washington became the first President of the United States on April 30, 1789. Born in 1732, he was raised in Virginia and dedicated to the formation of the United States of America (after previously being called the ‘United Colonies‘.)
Both his military and political service led to Washington developing many deep friendships throughout his life. He died at his Mount Vernon estate in 1799.
“Among his friends, Washington also showed a capacity for intimacy and playfulness that was largely absent from his public persona as Commander-and-Chief and later president,” noted Cassandra Good, Ph.D. Assistant Professor of History Marymount University.
Washington offered his wisdom on developing and maintaining friendships in his personal letters.
George Washington’s friendship advice
Washington had a large family and often shared his sage life experience with his many nieces and nephews. In the early 1780s, his nephew Bushrod Washington was studying law in Philadelphia. He would go on to become an Associate Justice of the Supreme Court, and inherited Mount Vernon (Washington’s famed estate in Virginia) after his uncle’s death.
Washington offered his wisdom on friendship to his nephew Bushrod Washington in a letter dated January 15, 1783:
“Be courteous to all, but intimate with few, and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence—true friendship is a plant of slow growth, and must undergo & withstand the shocks of adversity before it is entitled to the appellation.”
George Washington’s friendships
Washington friendships were described as “selective, but often long-lasting, loyal, and integral to his public life.”
In a letter dated June 15, 1790 to David Stuart (a man who became Washington’s close friend after he married his step-daughter-in-law), he wrote:
“I can truly say I had rather be at Mount Vernon with a friend or two about me, than to be attended at the Seat of Government by the Officers of State and the Representatives of every Power in Europe… “
Washington gained friends through many outlets, including his Virginia social circle and his military service in the Revolutionary War. During the American Revolution, Washington met and became close friends with General Henry Knox, who would become Secretary of State.
The two maintained a 25-year friendship, and Washington wrote of Knox: “there is no man in the United States with whom I have been in habits of greater intimacy, no one whom I have loved more sincerely, nor any for whom I have had a greater friendship.”
Washington’s friendship with Thomas Jefferson
One of Washington’s most notable friendships was with fellow Founding Father Thomas Jefferson. According to author Francis D. Cogliano’s book A Revolutionary Friendship (published by Harvard University Press), the two were friends for 30 years.
Washington seemed to take his own advice on friendship when it came to Jefferson. They bonded over their love of theater, agriculture and architecture.
“Their relationship evolved slowly, but they became close friends,” Cogliano wrote. “Each respected the other’s qualities, and they worked productively together for twenty years.”
Unfortunately, the two would become estranged in 1797 after a letter Jefferson wrote a friend with “unflattering references to Washington” was ultimately published in Europe and America.
While a bottle of bubbles might seem out of place in a hospital setting, you might be surprised to learn that, for thousands of children around the world born with cleft lip and palate, they can be a helpful tool in comprehensive cleft care. Lilia, who was born with cleft lip and palate in 2020, is one of the many patients who received this care.
As a toddler, Lilia underwent two surgeries to treat cleft lip and palate with Operation Smile’s surgical program in Puebla, Mexico. Because of Operation Smile’s comprehensive care, it wasn’t long before her personality transformed: Lilia went from a quiet and withdrawn toddler to an exuberant, curious explorer, babbling, expressing herself with a variety of sounds, and engaging with others like any child her age.
Lilia is now a healthy five-year-old, with the same cheerful attitude and boundless energy. Her progress is the result of care at every level, from surgery to speech therapy to ongoing support at home—but it’s also evidence that small, sustained interventions throughout it all can make a meaningful difference.
Cleft Conditions: A Global Problem
Since 1982, Operation Smile has provided cleft lip and cleft palate surgeries to more than 500,000 patients worldwide with the help of generous volunteers and donors. Cleft conditions are congenital conditions, meaning they are present at birth. With cleft lip and palate, the lip or the roof of the mouth do not form fully during fetal development. Cleft conditions put children at risk for malnutrition and poor weight gain, since their facial structure can make feeding challenging. But cleft conditions can have an enormous social impact as well: Common difficulties with speech can leave kids socially isolated and unable to meet the same developmental milestones as their peers.
Surgery is a vital step in treating cleft conditions, but it’s also just one part of a much larger solution. Organizations like Operation Smile emphasize the importance of multi-disciplinary teams that provide comprehensive, long-term care to patients across many years. This approach, which includes oral care, speech therapy, nutritional support, and psychosocial care, not only aids in physical recovery from surgery but also helps children develop the skills and confidence to eat easily, speak clearly, and engage in everyday life. This ensures that each patient receives the full range of support they need to thrive.
A Playful (and Powerful) Solution
Throughout a patient’s care, simple tools like bubbles can play a meaningful role from start to finish.
Immediately before surgery, children are often in a new and unfamiliar environment far from home, some of them experiencing a hospital setting for the first time. When care providers or loved ones blow bubbles, it’s a simple yet effective technique: Not only are the children soothed and distracted, the bubbles also help create a sense of joy and playfulness that eases their anxiety.
In speech therapy, bubbles can take on an even more important role. Blowing bubbles requires controlled airflow, as well as the ability to form a rounded “O” shape with the lips, which are skills that children with cleft conditions may struggle to develop. Practicing these skills with bubbles allows children to gently strengthen their facial muscles, improve breath control, and support the motor skills needed for speech development. Beyond that, blowing bubbles can help kids connect with their parents or providers in a way that’s playful, comforting, and accessible even for very young patients.
Finally, bubbles often follow patients with cleft conditions home in the “smile bags” that each patient receives when the surgical procedure is finished. Smile bags, which help continue speech therapy outside of the hospital setting, can contain language enrichment booklets, a mirror, oxygen tubing, and bubbles. While regular practice with motor skills can help with physical recovery, small acts of play help as well, giving kids space to simply enjoy themselves and join in on what peers are able to do.
Bubbles at Home and Beyond
Today, because of Operation Smile’s dedication to comprehensive cleft care, Lilia is now able to make friends and speak clearly, all things that could have been difficult or impossible before. Instead of a childhood defined by limitation, Lilia—and others around the world—can look forward to a childhood filled with joy, learning, discovery, friends, and new possibilities.
CTA: Lilia’s life was changed for the better with the care she received through Operation Smile. Find out how you can make an impact in other children’s lives by visiting operationsmile.org today.
In a relationship, sometimes you wish there was a tactful, helpful, and non-confrontational way to tell your partner exactly what you need from them.
It turns out there is a way, and it’s been hiding right under our noses for decades: The humble Powerpoint presentation.
In viral skit, wife makes instructional presentation for golfing husband
The Dashleys—that is, husband and wife Dallin and Ashley—seem to really have their pulse on modern marriage. They’ve racked up nearly half a million followers on Instagram alone with extremely relatable and hilarious Reels that perfectly capture the universal frustrations people have with their partners.
Charmingly, it’s all done with care, love, and a lot of laughs that help soften the blow.
Recently, Ashley took some time to prepare a little slideshow for her husband on something that had been bugging her: how he came home from a round of golf with friends.
“So you got home from golfing… now what?” the opening slide read.
“What is this? he asks.
“This is to help you golf more, without me getting annoyed,” she responds.
Covered topics include coming home tired or cranky from a bad round. “At this point, the hobby that is supposed to uplift you, has made you tired and extremely grouchy,” she writes.
The next slide covers what Ashley would like to hear when her husband walks through the door, featuring, “I missed you guys!!” and “What are we going to do today??”
Finally, she asks him to devote a short monologue to memory, expressing his gratitude: “Thank you so much … is there anything that you need to do for yourself that I can facilitate now that I’m home? …My cup is full and boy did I ever have fun. Let’s make a plan and have the best day ever.”
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The skit is tongue-in-cheek, but has commenters nodding along in recognition
All people in partnered relationships, even busy parents, deserve a little time to fill their own cup with hobbies they enjoy. That usually involves the other partner picking up the slack with the household and the kids; a trade-off many partners willingly make for one another.
But men who golf on the weekends, at........