New mom shares texts from her mother-in-law that exemplify postpartum depression support |
First-time motherhood can feel overwhelming in every way. Bringing a human into the world that you are responsible for and fall madly in love with is life-changing, to say the least. But when you add a layer of postpartum depression (PPD) onto that overwhelm, it can all feel like way too much to handle.
A mom shared texts her mother-in-law sent her when she was struggling with PPD with her firstborn, and people are loving them. The post from @mamaesterm provides a great example of what support looks like.
@mamaesterm #babiesoftiktok #firsttimemom #postpartum #mil ♬ Atlantis (Sped Up Version) – Seafret
#babiesoftiktok #firsttimemom #postpartum #mil ♬ Atlantis (Sped Up Version) – Seafret
First, it’s important to note that one of the most important ways to support someone going through PPD is to encourage and help them seek professional help. Treatments are available.
Each text has a specific element that makes it particularly effective:
‘Can I come by and help tidy up while you take a nap with the baby?’
This message acknowledges that Mom needs sleep and also needs a clean home. Often, those needs are not compatible in the early weeks and months of motherhood. People tell you to “sleep when the baby sleeps,” but if you have a high-needs baby, nap time is often the only time you have to get things done. People will also say the state of your house doesn’t matter, but for many, if not most, it’s easier to manage mental health when the home is under control.
So, having someone ask if they can come and help with the house while Mom naps with the baby hits both needs simultaneously.
‘You’re doing such a great job, I know it’s hard sometimes. [heart emoji]‘
Encouragement is so important for new parents. It’s common to feel like you have no idea what you’re doing with a new baby, while desperately wanting to not screw it up. And when you’re struggling with PPD, the guilt over feeling unable to care for your child the way you want to makes all of that worse. Being told you’re doing a good job feels like a refreshing drink of water.
‘Look how sweet she is she’s the cutest little thing, I’m obsessed with the precious photo editing app you told me about.’ [baby photo]
When you’re wrapped up in all the feelings, hormones, and overwhelm of new motherhood with PPD piled on top of it, it’s easy to lose perspective. Seeing reality through a loved one’s eyes can sometimes help ease some of the distorted thinking.
The beauty in this message is there’s no shame or guilt attached to it. Some people might say something like, “Why are you sad? You have a beautiful, healthy baby!” which often just leads the mom to feeling guilty about feelings she can’t control. This text makes no judgments, and, in fact, reminds the mom of something positive she has done for her family.
‘Pete mentioned it was a long night with baby girl. I’m doing a Starbucks run and will drop off breakfast for you on the porch.’
This one might just be the best. Asking if someone wants help is great. But sometimes just doing the thing without asking, especially if it’s not intrusive in any way, is the way to go. Saying, “I’m heading out for food. I’m going to grab you some and drop it on your porch,” removes any obligation from the equation. No decision had to be made. No pressure to interact or entertain, which can be a big load off. And no guilt over the state of the house or your lack of a shower, which is huge.
As one commenter wrote, “Starbucks left on the porch…that’s someone who just wants to love and help without intruding. She’s a gem, keep her.”
What are some common signs of PPD?
Hormonal fluctuations after birth can cause a lot of emotional ups and downs. What makes postpartum depression different from the “baby blues” is the intensity and severity of the downs.
According to the Cleveland Clinic, these symptoms can be signs you might be struggling with PPD:
Feeling sad, worthless, hopeless, or guilty
Worrying excessively or feeling on edge
Loss of interest in hobbies or things you usually enjoy
Changes in appetite or not eating
Loss of energy and motivation
Trouble sleeping or wanting to sleep all the time
Crying for no reason or excessively
Difficulty thinking or focusing
Lack of interest in your baby or feeling anxious around your baby
If you’ve recently given birth and these symptoms sound familiar, definitely have a conversation about what you’re feeling with your doctor. And if you know someone who is struggling postpartum, support is crucial. In addition to helping them find professional help, providing encouragement and practical help, especially without having to be asked, can be invaluable.
A single door can open up a world of endless possibilities. For homeowners, the front door of their house is a gateway to financial stability, job security, and better health. Yet for many, that door remains closed. Due to the rising costs of housing, 1 in 3 people around the world wake up without the security of safe, affordable housing.
Since 1976, Habitat for Humanity has made it their mission to unlock and open the door to opportunity for families everywhere, and their efforts have paid off in a big way. Through their work over the past 50 years, more than 65 million people have gained access to new or improved housing, and the movement continues to gain momentum. Since 2011 alone, Habitat for Humanity has expanded access to affordable housing by a hundredfold.
A world where everyone has access to a decent home is becoming a reality, but there’s still much to do. As they celebrate 50 years of building, Habitat for Humanity is inviting people of all backgrounds and talents to be part of what comes next through Let’s Open the Door, a global campaign that builds on this momentum and encourages people everywhere to help expand access to safe, affordable housing for those who need it most. Here’s how the foundation to a better world starts with housing, and how everyone can pitch in to make it happen.
Globally, almost 3 billion people, including 1 in 6 U.S. families, struggle with high costs and other challenges related to housing. A crisis in itself, this also creates larger problems that affect families and communities in unexpected ways. People who lack affordable, stable housing are also more likely to experience financial hardship in other areas of their lives, since a larger share of their income often goes toward rent, utilities, and frequent moves. They are also more likely to experience health problems due to chronic stress or environmental factors, such as mold. Housing insecurity also goes hand-in-hand with unstable employment, since people may need to move further from their jobs or switch jobs altogether to offset the cost of housing.
Affordable homeownership creates a stable foundation for families to thrive, reducing stress and increasing the likelihood for good health and stable employment. Habitat for Humanity builds and repairs homes with individual families, but it also strengthens entire communities as well. The MicroBuild® Initiative, for example, strengthens communities by increasing access to loans for low-income families seeking to build or repair their homes. Habitat ReStore locations provide affordable appliances and building materials to local communities, in addition to creating job and volunteer opportunities that support neighborhood growth.
Everyone can play a part in the fight for housing equity and the pursuit of a better world. Over the past 50 years, Habitat for Humanity has become a leader in global housing thanks to an engaged network of volunteers—but you don’t need to be skilled with a hammer to make a meaningful impact. Building an equitable future means calling on a wide range of people and talents.Here’s how you can get involved in the global housing movement:
Speaking up on social media about the growing housing crisis
Volunteering on a Habitat for Humanity build in your local community
Travel and build with Habitat in the U.S. or in one of 60 countries where we work around the globe
Join the Let’s Open the Door movement and, when you donate, you can create your own personalized door
Shop or donate at your local Habitat ReStore
Every action, big and small, drives a global movement toward a better future. A safe home unlocks opportunity for families and communities alike, but it’s volunteers and other supporters, working together with a shared vision, who can open the door for everyone.
Visit habitat.org/open-door to learn more and get involved today.
Building confidence isn’t easy at any age, but for mom Kendra Alley, she is making sure she starts the process early. By getting creative, she’s teaching her young sons about confidence.
The married mom-of-three shared her family’s new tradition that doubles as a confidence-building technique. When each child turns 10 years old, they get to choose where the family goes on vacation.
The caveat: they must do a pitch-presentation explaining where they want to go and why. “In our family, turning 10 means you pick the family trip. Anywhere in the world. But you have to research it … and present it to us,” she explained in an Instagram post.
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The pitch-presentation, explained
Alley shared more details about what the presentation entails, and why she and her husband have their sons do it.
“We help them with a basic template, but they are required to add the flare. Why do we make them work so hard for something we would do anyway? It builds confidence, Research Skills, Public Speaking Practice, DELAYED GRATIFICATION and Family Connection,” she explained, later adding that “they also have to rehearse because they aren’t allowed to read straight off the screen.”
When asked why they start at age 10 in the comments, Alley wrote, “I think my husband read something that said they [kids] remember most memories starting at age 10?? Something like that!”
The tradition began in 2024, when their oldest son turned 10. He chose to go to Loch Lyme in New Hampshire (and drive there in an RV). And this year, her second........