Losing a loved one is arguably one of the hardest human experiences, but also one of the most universal. Few of us will go through life untouched by grief, but some losses hit harder than others, even when we know they are coming. For instance, most people expect their parents will die before they do, but that doesn’t make the loss any easier when it happens.

One man’s raw embrace of grief after losing his mother is resonating with people everywhere.

“You said you’re a middle-aged man who hasn’t gotten over the loss of his mother,” Steven Bartlett, host of The Diary of a CEO podcast, said to guest Scott Galloway, a New York University marketing professor. “Is there a way to?”

“I don’t want to,” replied Galloway, wiping away his tears.

Grief isn’t a bug, but a feature

“I think the receipts for love is grief,” Galloway said. “I hope my boys feel the same way about me. It hasn’t gotten in the way of my life. It makes me be more bold with my emotions. I used to see it as a problem. I went to grief counseling. Now I see it not as a bug, but as a feature. And so what I would tell every young person is I hope they have a lot of joy in their life. I also hope they have a decent amount of grief, because that means they have people they love immensely.”

“You can never tell your parents how much you love them too much,” he continued. “Forgive them, and…my mom died slowly, which was bad for her, but it was good for me because nothing went unsaid. I miss my mom terribly. I’m a middle-aged man who hasn’t gotten over the death of his mother. Light of my life. Raised me on her own. Secretary’s salary. Gave me confidence. Everything.”

I lived w/ my mother as she was dying of cancer. Taking care of a sick parent is one of the best things you can do in life and that you'll feel proudest of looking back. https://t.co/JlP11iiKuD— Scott Galloway (@profgalloway) January 11, 2021

I lived w/ my mother as she was dying of cancer. Taking care of a sick parent is one of the best things you can do in life and that you'll feel proudest of looking back. https://t.co/JlP11iiKuD— Scott Galloway (@profgalloway) January 11, 2021

Do we really need to “get past” the loss of a loved one?

Galloway’s honesty about not wanting to get over his mom’s death hit home for a lot of people. So often, grief gets treated as a problem to fix, rather than an integral part of the human experience. Counseling can help when grief interferes with someone’s daily life, of course. But the idea that we need to “get over” or “get past” the loss of a loved one doesn’t make sense for a lot of people, as evidenced by the Instagram comments:

“Profound grief has not hindered my life. I welcome the tears. Heart forever broken but still beating.”

“My mom passed away 10 years ago and the pain can be unbearable. This is a beautiful way to frame this as ‘Receipts for love is Grief’ 🥹 I needed to hear this 🙏🏾 Thanks for sharing Scott.”

“Lost my mum 3 years ago and miss her everyday – the reason the way I am is because of her and I can never thank her enough – single mother warrior queen. ❤️”

“Exactly what I say when people tell me I need to get over losing my mom 🥹❤️ thank you.”

“I’ve never ever gotten over my mother passing nor will I ever and I am pleased to watch this video as I know I’m not alone. 💔”

“We need more of this type of conversation – BE BOLD WITH YOUR EMOTIONS! ♥️ People run away and hide from grief, pain and the uncomfortable – grief really is the receipts for LOVE ❤️ Grief doesn’t need fixing, just honour 🤍”

“I wonder at what point did humanity veer so off course that we started seeing grief as a problem. Thank you for this conversation! Grief is here because love was here first! ❤️”

“Grief is healthy. And we’re not supposed to ‘get over’ the loss of loved ones, in my opinion, we learn to love them and honor them differently.”

“This is exactly how I feel about my dad. What a beautiful way of looking at grief.”

Grief is evidence of love, and in Galloway’s case, the evidence clearly speaks for itself. What a beautiful tribute to his mother and a relatable approach to processing a profound loss.

While a bottle of bubbles might seem out of place in a hospital setting, you might be surprised to learn that, for thousands of children around the world born with cleft lip and palate, they can be a helpful tool in comprehensive cleft care. Lilia, who was born with cleft lip and palate in 2020, is one of the many patients who received this care. 

As a toddler, Lilia underwent two surgeries to treat cleft lip and palate with Operation Smile’s surgical program in Puebla, Mexico. Because of Operation Smile’s comprehensive care, it wasn’t long before her personality transformed: Lilia went from a quiet and withdrawn toddler to an exuberant, curious explorer, babbling, expressing herself with a variety of sounds, and engaging with others like any child her age. 

Lilia is now a healthy five-year-old, with the same cheerful attitude and boundless energy. Her progress is the result of care at every level, from surgery to speech therapy to ongoing support at home—but it’s also evidence that small, sustained interventions throughout it all can make a meaningful difference. 

Cleft Conditions: A Global Problem

Since 1982, Operation Smile has provided cleft lip and cleft palate surgeries to more than 500,000 patients worldwide with the help of generous volunteers and donors. Cleft conditions are congenital conditions, meaning they are present at birth. With cleft lip and palate, the lip or the roof of the mouth do not form fully during fetal development. Cleft conditions put children at risk for malnutrition and poor weight gain, since their facial structure can make feeding challenging. But cleft conditions can have an enormous social impact as well: Common difficulties with speech can leave kids socially isolated and unable to meet the same developmental milestones as their peers. 

Surgery is a vital step in treating cleft conditions, but it’s also just one part of a much larger solution. Organizations like Operation Smile emphasize the importance of multi-disciplinary teams that provide comprehensive, long-term care to patients across many years. This approach, which includes oral care, speech therapy, nutritional support, and psychosocial care, not only aids in physical recovery from surgery but also helps children develop the skills and confidence to eat easily, speak clearly, and engage in everyday life. This ensures that each patient receives the full range of support they need to thrive. 

A Playful (and Powerful) Solution

Throughout a patient’s care, simple tools like bubbles can play a meaningful role from start to finish. 

Immediately before surgery, children are often in a new and unfamiliar environment far from home, some of them experiencing a hospital setting for the first time. When care providers or loved ones blow bubbles, it’s a simple yet effective technique: Not only are the children soothed and distracted, the bubbles also help create a sense of joy and playfulness that eases their anxiety. 

In speech therapy, bubbles can take on an even more important role. Blowing bubbles requires controlled airflow, as well as the ability to form a rounded “O” shape with the lips, which are skills that children with cleft conditions may struggle to develop. Practicing these skills with bubbles allows children to gently strengthen their facial muscles, improve breath control, and support the motor skills needed for speech development. Beyond that, blowing bubbles can help kids connect with their parents or providers in a way that’s playful, comforting, and accessible even for very young patients. 

Finally, bubbles often follow patients with cleft conditions home in the “smile bags” that each patient receives when the surgical procedure is finished. Smile bags, which help continue speech therapy outside of the hospital setting, can contain language enrichment booklets, a mirror, oxygen tubing, and bubbles. While regular practice with motor skills can help with physical recovery, small acts of play help as well, giving kids space to simply enjoy themselves and join in on what peers are able to do.

Bubbles at Home and Beyond

Today, because of Operation Smile’s dedication to comprehensive cleft care, Lilia is now able to make friends and speak clearly, all things that could have been difficult or impossible before. Instead of a childhood defined by limitation, Lilia—and others around the world—can look forward to a childhood filled with joy, learning, discovery, friends, and new possibilities.  

CTA: Lilia’s life was changed for the better with the care she received through Operation Smile. Find out how you can make an impact in other children’s lives by visiting operationsmile.org today. 

Like for many of us, having connected moments with her mother are timeless and special for musician Ester Wiesnerova. She’s incredibly vulnerable about her mom (whose real name is Maria but is mostly referred to as Marina) and her Alzheimer’s diagnosis. The disease moves bit by bit, fading her memory and ability to find words. But in a silver-lined twist, Wiesnerova found that she and mother are still able to bond through music.

In clips making the rounds on social media, Wiesnerova shares moments where she is able to harmonize with her mom through various songs. At the top of one of her videos, she notes, “The power of music is incredible.” One look at these clips, and it’s clear that’s true.

View this post on Instagram

In an Instagram Reel posted on Mother’s Day, we see the pair joyfully singing in a car. The chyron across the clip reads, “Alzheimer’s took her words. But she still sings a full chorus – by heart in her second language in harmony with me.” As they lean in, each with sunglasses atop their heads, they smile while crooning “Guantanamera” in Spanish. (The song, with lyrics by Cuban poet José Martí, is a patriotic folk tune celebrating the “people.”)

Wiesnerova comments, “Music is how I communicate with my mom these days. I’ve never been more grateful for it.” So many in the comment section agree, with one even claiming, “This is the most beautiful video ever.” Another notes how Marina seems lit up by the music: “Her eyes are sparkling.”

In a second Instagram clip marked “Part 2,” Wiesnerova ups the ante. The chyron reads, “Alzheimer’s took my mom’s words. But she still sings. In harmony. In a foreign language.” This time the two sing the traditional Hebrew song “Hava Nagila.” She writes, “I’m starting a song. Will she join in?”

After just a few seconds, a text pops up on the video: “It worked! Wait to hear her sing gorgeous harmonies. So nice to hear her voice again.” She then asks Marina if “she wants to harmonize.” Indeed, she does. Wiesnerova gives her mother the starting pitch, and once again, pure glee spreads across both of their faces. She writes, “Finding a way to connect with her and smile means so much.”

View this post on Instagram

Neuropsychology researchers continue to find the special link between dementia and music. In a piece posted to the Northwestern Medicine site, they quote neurologist Borna Bonakdarpour, MD, who they state “combines his love of music with research on how musical intervention affects the brain of people with dementia.”

Bonakdarpour shares, “When we use musical intervention, we’re looking for areas and networks in the brain that are intact to serve as........

© Upworthy