Jasmine Crockett: Fake Progressive Hero of the Year |
Before 2024, I don’t really remember hearing the name Jasmine Crockett. I probably did, I can’t believe her stupidity can be contained in one year. But she hit peak idiot in 2025, which means she rose in the esteem of liberals across the country over the last year, which lands her on our list of progressive heroes for the year, naturally.
It’s hard to know where Crockett begins, with 50 pounds of fake hair woven into her head to make Cousin It look bald. Maybe horse hair lowers IQ points? Then again, I can’t imagine anyone could be this stupid without actually trying, and Jasmine’s efforts must be exhausting.
This spoiled rich kid who went to the best private schools her family’s money could buy, code-switches into fake Ebonics when talking to a black audience. Seems weird that someone famous for crying racism over literally everything (defending ideals she doesn’t have the mental capacity to understand is an awful lot like work) would engage in the ultimate racism – assuming minorities can only relate to someone if they speak like an illiterate boob.
Jasmine Crockett speaks with black audiences the way every uptight white guy in a bad Hollywood movie does, only she means it.
As a child, her family sent her to the Mary Institute and Saint Louis Country Day School, an expensive private school with tuition costs currently at $26,530 for elementary........