Trump thinks Connolly is a man: Misgendering women in power isn’t a mistake — it’s a pattern |
WHEN DONALD TRUMP used the incorrect pronoun to describe Catherine Connolly as male, lots of Irish women winced. Or threw their eyes to heaven.
As someone who is head of an organisation and familiar with that awkward moment, I merely shrugged my shoulders.
Unfortunately, the assumption continues to be made by many that senior roles such as director, chair or president can only be held by a man.
This assumption permeates everything from emails to letters, conference invitations and in-person meetings. Mis-titling occurs frequently, too, with some quarters seemingly incapable of assigning a woman as professor or doctor when they automatically title a male counterpart correctly.
The faux pas belongs to the person who makes the mistake. But it can feel embarrassing and become a distraction from the job at hand. Correcting someone who has made a gendered assumption is an act of diplomacy.
Like all acts of diplomacy, sometimes it’s wiser to say nothing at the time and return to it later.
A woman news reporter in the Oval Office audibly corrected Trump, though he didn’t acknowledge her contribution. Publicly correcting someone as volatile as Trump could have resulted in an even more overtly misogynistic rejoinder, inflaming the situation further. The temperature in the room was already heated.
Taoiseach Micheál Martin didn’t take the immediate opportunity to correct the US President, possibly because he didn’t hear the slip, or possibly because he made the split-second decision to focus on the message he had come to deliver.
Although he did stand up for UK Prime Minister Keir Starmer in the meeting with Trump on St Patrick’s Day, suggesting his priorities might lie elsewhere.
Martin’s party, Fianna Fáil, has the lowest percentage of women TDs in the Dáil of all parties, so equal gender representation in politics could be one of his blind spots.
To be fair, it’s a widespread issue in politics, with women making up just a quarter of public representatives, leaving us at 96th place in the world for gender balance in political life.
The Taoiseach and Donald Trump on St Patrick's Day. Alamy Stock Photo Alamy Stock Photo
Misgendering those in leadership roles is such a common experience that ‘see it and be it’ campaigns run by large organisations like the Law Society and the Royal College of Surgeons in Ireland remain necessary.
Research on secondary school students, particularly regarding their intent to study science, technology, engineering and mathematics (STEM) at third level, suggests that visible women role models encourage girls to believe that they have a credible future in a particular career. But the exchange between Trump and Martin demonstrates that awareness-raising campaigns need to be aimed at boys and men too.
If you can see it, be it
Children are born without these assumptions. They interpret the world through the eyes of their parents and others around them. Many fixed ideas about gender stereotypes are formed early, depending on what they observe around them.
My son came home from school when he was five and asked me if boys could become doctors. He knew that I was a doctor, his GP was a woman, and when he had had a small surgery the year before, his surgeon was also a woman.
His view on the world was fixed and, in his mind, only girls could grow up to become doctors. Gender stereotypes are so entrenched in our daily lives that we mostly don’t notice them: the builder who is always a man, the nurse who is generally a woman, the politician who is usually a man. Addressing stereotypes is a challenging cultural exercise which takes generations to change.
The trans and non-binary community are a minority in this country who are frequently misgendered. They understand the awkward moment and the sting of the wrong pronouns chosen. They occupy a space where the assumptions of others colour their entire day.
Trans and non-binary people don’t get to shed those assumptions outside of the workplace. The relative burden of misgendering for some individuals is worth considering when a fuss is made about Trump confusing our President for a man. It is a common occurrence, but it’s not a catastrophe. It is highly likely that Trump doesn’t know who the President of Ireland is at all.
Misgendering in public discourse reflects ingrained gender bias. The right moment to correct someone making such an error passes quickly. If it is in public, correction risks humiliation and drama. People rarely learn through humiliation, as their fight or flight response is triggered, and they vigorously defend themselves.
In my experience, it makes more sense to draw someone aside and gently inform them of their mistake, giving them the opportunity to apologise. This treats the embarrassing error as a chance to learn.
We don’t know if the Taoiseach did this later, but let’s hope that he did stand up for the President of our country, and for women in general.
Dr Suzanne Crowe is President of the Irish Medical Council.