A Time When 'Just Passing By and Thought I’d Drop By' Used to Be Perfectly Normal
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Chandigarh: Do you even recall the last time you simply arrived at somebody’s house unannounced? Not sent the now-obligatory “You free?” message, but just appeared, rang the bell, and waited not only to be received, but welcomed.
For most people under the age of 55, this now carries roughly the same social acceptability as turning up at an airport without a ticket and hoping things will somehow work out. Or, alternatively, turning up for dinner at someone’s house and casually announcing halfway through the evening that you intended to stay the night too.
And yet this is not an exaggerated or fanciful scenario, as there was, not that long ago, a time when unannounced visits and unexpected overnight stays were entirely normal across urban and rural India. Such behaviour was rooted in an older Indian culture of hospitality, grounded in the age-old concept of sewa – the idea that receiving a guest was not a transaction but a duty, even a small moral act of service.
In much of pre-digital social life – especially in closely knit small towns, villages, and even many cities in the late 20th century and earlier – one simply materialised at somebody’s house around tea-time and shouted “Oye!” through the front gate. Entire social systems once operated on this principle; no scheduling apps, no advance warnings, no digital negotiation. You merely arrived because you wanted to, and the household simply absorbed the impact, proffered hospitality, and expanded around it.
Alongside, the idea of “just passing by and thought I’d drop by” used to be perfectly normal, acceptable and unquestioned. No planning, no messages, no checking calendars – just a casual visit that followed naturally from being nearby. It didn’t feel like an interruption, but felt routine.
Up to the seventies – and even the early eighties – most urban........
