What Happens When You Stop Believing Your Own Worst Thoughts |
There’s a particular kind of madness that happens in a bathroom at 7:12am. Fluorescent lighting that could double as an interrogation tactic, a toothbrush you’re irrationally annoyed with, and a woman smiling at herself in the mirror like she’s either about to deliver a keynote or quietly unravel. “Hello, beautiful,” I say. We both know this is a negotiation.
My mother has entered what I can only describe as her Neuroplasticity Era. This means WhatsApping me PDFs like they’re court summonses, highlighting paragraphs as if my future depends on fluorescent ink, and then, just to be absolutely certain, making me read them aloud to her. Like I’m ten. Or in court. “Self-talk and neuroplasticity work together to create actual changes in self-esteem and weight loss.” Highlighted. Underlined. Non-negotiable.
I’ve lost over 20 kilograms. This should feel like the triumphant middle of something. Instead, it feels like halftime in a game I didn’t realize would take this long or get this personal. There are another 20 kilograms still sitting there, waiting. Which means, according to science, my mother, and every aggressively........