Speed Dating: Now With Built-In Rejection and Complimentary Humiliation |
Last night I tried Coronacrush speed dating, which is an algorithm-based romantic experience designed to remove inefficiency from modern dating and replace it with something far more honest: rapid-fire disappointment.
It begins, as all questionable life choices do, with a login.
You sit there, composed, mildly optimistic, pretending this is not just loneliness wearing better lighting. The interface is clean. Promising. Clinical, almost. Somewhere, an algorithm has decided you are compatible with a series of men you have never met, based on criteria that probably include your willingness to admit you like “good conversation.”
The first man was Kenny.
Kenny, in a bold and innovative move, did not arrive.
Now, this is where Coronacrush distinguishes itself from traditional dating. In real life, being stood up requires effort. Planning. Travel. Emotional investment. Here, Kenny achieved the same result without leaving his house, his couch, or possibly his own internal stagnation.
The screen waited. I waited. Kenny did not.
There is something almost poetic about being ghosted by a man the algorithm insisted you should meet. A quiet reminder that no matter how advanced technology becomes, it will never outpace a man’s ability to simply… not show up.
Eventually, the system did what Kenny could not. It moved on.
And just like that, I was reabsorbed into the........