I’m a Gap Year parent – when my son gets a siren, so do I |
Our young people are being well looked after – but don’t abandon them over Pesach
Like most Jewish people in the Diaspora, I have always had an intimate connection to Israel. I have close family there and I am a regular visitor. And, like the rest of my community in the UK and beyond, I have followed every war and conflict since October 7th 2023, minute by minute, via various WhatsApp groups and social media apps, from the safety of my Diaspora home.
This time things are different. This time, my 18 year old son is amongst the Israelis running for bomb shelters, as the skies above him are filled with missiles, rockets and cluster bombs. This war is far more personal to me than any previous conflicts have been.
The possibility of war breaking out in Israel during his Gap Year has always been on the cards so this had to be factored in when making the decision to send my son on his Bnei Akiva year program last spring. Actually, this is not quite true; war wasn’t factored in to the decision-making – it simply had no impact on our decision. War or no war, Iran or no, he was going on his chosen Kadima stream that combined kibbutz life with internship and volunteering with Magen Dovid Adom, as well as seeing the country within that special Bnei Akiva environment. We had every faith in World Bnei Akiva, the IDF and in MASA that should war break out, they will keep him and all the gap year fellows, safe.
From airport to bomb shelter
And, after nearly two weeks of sirens, I have not wavered in that view. Even when my son first arrived in Israel last September and went straight from the airport to his first bomb shelter, I did not have doubts. Even though my teen has now spent 11 days running in and out of shelters, instead of running in and out of valleys and streams on the planned Israel trail, I have no regrets.
From the moment the first sirens sounded in Israel on that Shabbat morning 28th February, Gap Year parents have been kept informed and updated on all the efforts being made to keep our precious teens, on their first post-school adventures, physically and psychologically safe. This should offer reassurance to worried parents who right now, are having to make decisions about next year’s gap program.
MASA is the organization that coordinates all Gap Year programs and they immediately arranged zoom sessions in various languages for parents of the 5000 or so ‘fellows’ they are supporting across over 177 programs in Israel at the moment. They have a well-oiled intervention now, honed during the last Iran war in Israel in June 2025. They offered reassurance about security arrangements and planning and since then, have sent a daily update email. They informed us that every venue and accommodation that MASA fellows are placed in have been pre-examined for the suitability and safety of the shelters. They have also offered all participants mental health support, recognizing that these events can be very traumatizing for anyone. The Kadima program leaders too have been in regular contact, sending photos of our kids in the miklat in Tel Aviv – somewhat squeezed in, but in good spirits.
Home Front Command App
On Day 3 we were informed that MASA had decreed it safe to move from the Tel Aviv apartments, with their small, cramped and stuffy miklat and almost constant sirens, to the their more suitable base in Jerusalem, with a spacious miklat on each floor (and hopefully, fewer sirens). We were texted when they were leaving and when they arrived, as parents were naturally concerned about the journey under potential fire.
From the start of the war, I downloaded the Home Front Command app for the first time ever so that whenever my son received an alert, I did too. Downloading the app was advised by MASA so that parents can encourage their children to enter shelters in case they grow complacent (which my son has assured me he has not) or miss an alert, but it has also allowed me to feel involved in what my son is experiencing and to offer support. We often get on the phone when the first ‘pre-warning’ comes through and wait together for the siren, at which point I tell him to ‘go go go!’ Some Gap Year parents might prefer not to know when missiles were falling, but for me, having that real time knowledge is a definite boon.
Naturally, I have also been connected to social media apps too, scrolling and swiping for constant news. This is familiar to us all since October 7th, but it feels even more vital to keep up to date now. There is no off switch when your child is in the line of attack.
Purim came and went with Megillah readings interrupted by sirens, but the party continuing, led by inspiring Madrichim. It wasn’t the Purim they were anticipating, but one that is a world away from their usual Purim experience and one that they will never forget.
On Day 8, the 30-strong Kadima group, made up mainly of Americans and Mexicans, (with two Brits thrown into the mix), were fortunate to be offered a short ‘recharge’ break by MASA at a hotel in a quieter part of the country. This was full-board and an opportunity for some R&R, and a chance to escape the cabin fever they were beginning to experience hunkered down in Jerusalem. It also give me some much needed respite from the startle-inducing Home Command alerts as I updated my ‘area of interest’ to his new location!
I am acutely aware of how privileged I am to know that my Gap Year son’s physical and psychological safety is being so well considered when Israeli youths his age are serving in the army and the whole Israeli population is struggling with the impact of ongoing sirens. But, it is wonderful to feel that even temporary residents in Israel like Gap Year students, are embraced so fully by the care and love of the State.
But, this care may come to an abrupt halt soon as Pesach looms. This year, the pressure caused by the total shut down of Gap Year programming for up to a month over the Pesach period is brought into sharp focus. The annual closure of Sems and Yeshivot over arguably, the most important time of the Jewish year to be in Israel, is to be frank, a crying shame. Many young people are forced to travel home rather than try to scrounge accommodation and meals for such a long period of time.
This year, many of these youngsters will be unable to get home, leaving the prospect of hundreds of young people being effectively homeless in Israel for several weeks, possibly with missiles and rockets still falling. Even those who had intended to stay, may have their carefully thought out plans disrupted by vacationing hosts whose flights to Israel for Pesach have been or are likely to be cancelled. It seems unfair to expect beleaguered Israeli citizens, exhausted from days and nights of sirens, to open up their homes to these ‘refugees’ and there are increasing calls from frantic parents to Gap Year providers to step up and ensure that our young people are not abandoned and that the fantastic care and safety offered so far, is not halted as Pesach draws near.
In the meantime, life as an Israeli Gap Year Parent goes on, with my head in the UK but my heart in Israel. As I juggle work and the demands of life here, with the constant pull to check for updates and news in Israel, against the backdrop of my new Home Front Command companion, I wait and yearn, like all of Am Yisrael, for peace, stability and a return to ‘normal’ life for all.