This Friday will conclude 11 months since my father’s death, and thus the end of my period of time to say the Mourner’s Kaddish. When a Jew is sitting Shiva, they stay at home and the minyan comes to them. But on Shabbos, he rejoins the congregation in shul. During that Shabbos of Shiva, I moved forward to say my first Kaddish in shul. I was standing with four or five other men in their 11 months of Kaddish, and on cue we began together, “Yisgadal V’Yiskadash Shmei Rabbah.” It’s a part of the service I knew well, but only as an outsider. That Shabbos morning, during that first Kaddish, one of my shul friends put his hand on my shoulder, and he patted me on the back, and it was in that moment I realized I was part of a new brotherhood. Now I had Kaddish Brothers.

For the last 11 months, my Kaddish Brothers and I met in shul a couple of times a day. At first, I was the youngest brother, and now with just a couple of days to go, I’m the oldest brother.

While I think that everyone who has been in a synagogue is at least somewhat familiar with the Mourner’s Kaddish. A less well-known part of the story of Kaddish is that, in truth, the greatest merit for the deceased family member is if the survivor leads the congregation in prayer. Since not everyone is comfortable doing that, the Mourner’s Kaddish was popularized as a way to allow basically anyone a chance........

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