Let’s face it, when it comes to Judaism in the summer for over 2,000 years, we have been shofaring it in, then about 150 years ago, a beit din finally changed halacha, and we were able to phone it in, except for on Shabbos, of course. As Jews, how do we actually practice our faith over the summer?

We sweat, we complain about how much we sweat, we hold off on installing an air conditioner in shul because in 1958, the great-grandfather of the kid who works at Best Buy said something about how his mother’s schnitzel was better than the great-great-grandmother of the current board president’s schnitzel. We then get old, move to Florida, where we sweat all year long, complain about how cold it is inside, and then we die. The impact of not installing an air conditioner has created a butterfly effect on the Jewish experience. It’s too hot in the synagogue, so service attendance is down. We ship our kids off to Jewish overnight camp so they can experience a lack of air conditioning in exotic and remote places like the Poconos. The only holidays we have consist of broken walls and cannibalism. It’s the only time of year when conversion is tempting. If I were to become a Whirling Dervish, at least all that spinning should keep the July heat at bay.

Look, this isn’t a challenge only facing Judaism; Christianity has nothing over the summer as well. However, they came up with the brilliant strategy to start celebrating Christmas in July. When you have one holiday that lasts months, the need for new content is significantly lower. You can dream of a White Christmas at the........

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