King Donald and the Black Mullahs |
So we may safely disregard them and their pitiful obfuscation.
Where then to find reliable reporting and prognostication? The media perhaps?
Alas. CNN, BBC, The New York Times reported almost before it started that the intervention was a quagmire, the mission doomed to failure even if it succeeded in destroying Iran’s armed forces and economy, and Trump a deranged, clueless, unhinged, or too easily influenced buffoon. Their outcome was predetermined. We lost. Whatever the outcome, we lost.
Seek elsewhere for objectivity and guidance, Pilgrim.
Perhaps we should start listening to the Mullahs. It’s never a bad idea to find out what the adversary is saying when you don’t fully trust your own leaders and media.
But before we get there, we should consult one of the more reliable quasi-historical accounts of famous battles. The past is prologue and, as Santayana may have said more pithily, there is much to be learned from history if we do not desire unwelcome results to recur.
When the creators of Monty Python were in school they were introduced to the legend of the steadfast Greek wrestler who had been fighting so long and so arduously that he could do nothing more than lean against his opponent, who, eventually finding himself unable to continue, surrendered. Only then was it discovered that our hero had died in the course of the match, but emerged victorious nonetheless, effectively winning posthumously. According to John Cleese’s teacher, the lesson was, “if you never give up, you can’t possibly lose.” Cleese recalls that he found the statement “philosophically unsound.”
His reaction was later translated into the morbid brilliance of the Black Knight episode in “Monty Python and the Holy Grail.” https://youtu.be/4slV0qSgvV4 Arthur is searching for knights to serve at his round table and he comes upon the black-clad and helmeted knight standing guard at a makeshift bridge. Having witnessed his prowess in battle, Arthur repeatedly invites the Black Knight to join. The Black Knight offers no response. Finally, Arthur, frustrated, asks the knight to step aside so he can continue his quest. The Black Knight blocks the path and says “None shall pass.”
Arthur objects, the knight threatens him with death, and the two duel. After a brief struggle, Arthur severs the knight’s left arm at the shoulder. Blood spurts and Arthur prepares to proceed. “‘Tis but a scratch,” says the knight, refusing to step aside. They resume battle and Arthur cuts off the other arm. Believing the fight is over, Arthur prepares to continue, but the knight blocks him, hopping about, accusing Arthur of cowardice, and kicking him in the head as Arthur kneels to thank God for his victory. Arthur cuts off the knight’s leg, and when that does not suffice to make him stop fighting, the other leg. Totally disgusted at the knight’s refusal to recognize reality or defeat, Arthur makes his way past the head and torso, while the knight declares the battle a draw and shouts imprecations at Arthur’s receding back.
One might feel sorry for the knight, but his complete lack of awareness and his total rejection of reality renders him more of an annoyance than an object of pity. He seems genuinely oblivious of the fact that he has been utterly destroyed. Arthur winds up sounding positively Trumpian (“Look, you stupid bastard, you’ve got no arms left”). To which the knight, shorn of limbs, replies, “I am invincible.”
Artrhur has a final word, if, perhaps, not a satisfying victory. “You’re a looney.” But not the final word.
Black Knight: Oh. Oh, I see. Running away, eh? You yellow bastards! Come back here and take what’s coming to you. I’ll bite your legs off!
Whether or not you find this amusing, there are lessons here for us to learn. Let me elucidate, or, even better, provide you with context so that you can hear the echoes of history and see the conclusion for yourself.
Trump: We’re blowing up the entire country.
Iran: The resistance front has achieved strategic victory over the Zionist regime.
Trump: Tuesday will be Power Plant Day, and Bridge Day, all wrapped up in one, in Iran. There will be nothing like it!!!
Iran: Our deterrence power has neutralized the enemy’s plots.
Trump: The entire country could be taken out in one night, and that could be tomorrow night.
Iran: The enemy’s aggression has only strengthened the unity of the Iranian nation.
Trump: A whole civilization will die tonight . . . I don’t want that to happen, but it probably will . . . You’ll be living in Hell.
Iran: The era of American dominance is over; Iran now dictates the rules of engagement. Iran’s missile power has shattered the enemy’s illusions and changed the balance of power in the region.
Trump: Every bridge will be decimated, every power plant . . . burning, exploding, and never to be used again . . . We’re going to bring them back to the Stone Ages, where they belong.
Iran: The resistance forces have the upper hand on every front . . . Any further aggression will result in even greater victories for Iran.
Trump: We are gonna finish the job. We are getting very close . . . Iran has been decisively defeated and is begging for a deal.
Iran: The Zionist regime has suffered a humiliating defeat at the hands of the resistance axis.
Trump: Open the F—in’ Strait, you crazy bastards, or you’ll be living in Hell–JUST WATCH!
Iran: The enemy’s plans have failed; victory belongs to the resistance.
Trump: Remember when I gave Iran ten days to MAKE A DEAL or OPEN UP THE HORMUZ STRAIT . . . Time is running out–48 hours before all Hell will reign [sic] down on them.
Iran: The arrogant powers have been defeated by the steadfastness of the Iranian nation . . . The Islamic Republic stands stronger than ever before.
Obviously, Iran is like the Black Knight, having lost (1) its nuclear facilities (for the time being); (2) hundreds of billions of dollars through destruction and damage of industrial facilities, energy infrastructure, and trade and economic activity; (3) scores of aircraft, naval vessels, missiles, and drones; (4) its Supreme Leader and leading elements of its political, military, and paramilitary hierarchy; (5) thousands of dead and injured, and millions displaced; (6) a significant portion of its proxy terror axis; (7) weapons factories, air defense systems, military bases and government buildings; etc.
But, like the Black Knight, they will not capitulate or even acknowledge the reality of their devastation.
Because. They. Are. Looney.
And, after that very long exposition, here is the very short message:
As Arthur concludes, one does not negotiate with looney. There is no point to it. One simply must determine unilaterally to do what is necessary to accomplish one’s objective at whatever price one is prepared to pay, leave them in the dust they so richly deserve, and move on.
Stop talking to the lunatics. Determine what must be done. Do it.