What a Talmudic story teaches us about labels, identity, and the danger of categories that become too small.

Years ago, while living in Israel, a friend of mine was asked whether he would ever consider dating a non-religious woman.

It seemed like a straightforward question.

“What do you mean by non-religious?” he asked.

The answer came quickly: she wasn’t religious.

Celebrate Jewish holidays?

Light Shabbat candles?

So why wasn’t she religious?

Because she wore pants.

At first, he laughed.

Then he wondered what kind of definition of “religious” could exclude a woman who prayed, observed Shabbat, celebrated Jewish holidays, and lit Shabbat candles.

Years later, while serving at a university Hillel, an Israeli staff member said something I have never forgotten.

“Rabbi, I came to America as an Israeli, and I’m returning to Israel as a Jew.”

She had not become Orthodox. She had not dramatically changed her level of observance.

Her practices had not........

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