The Zionist’s Guide to the World Baseball Classic |
There is a notion stretching back to the ancient Greeks of the “Olympic Truce.” While the Olympic Games were proceeding, ongoing wars would pause. Further, parties seeking war would wait until the Games were over to commence hostilities.
Based on the ongoing events in the Middle East, there is apparently no corresponding notion of a “World Baseball Classic Truce.”
Israel may be a nation at war, but it is also a nation participating in this weekend’s World Baseball Classic. While the World Baseball Classic attracts far less attention than this summer’s FIFA World Cup (probably even among most baseball fans), duty still calls the Zionist’s Guide to the World Baseball Classic (ZGWBC) to issue its judgments about the tournament field.
Group A will play its games in San Juan, Puerto Rico and consists of teams from Canada, Colombia, Cuba, Panama and Puerto Rico. Since October 7th, Canada has proved itself to be as bad for the Jews as any western European country. Few countries have fallen so far in the ZGWBC’s estimation than the once-plucky Canadians. Now they are no better than more local version of Belgium–but without the interesting beers. Colombia is led by strident left winger Gustavo Petro who boasts consistently anti-Israel credentials. Cuba, for its part, retains its traditional anti-Israel stance. One can only hope that the freedom and readily-available electrical power in Puerto Rico will cause the entire squad to defect en masse to the U.S. of A. Panama has a long history of amicable relations with Israel and is the only Latin American country which has not recognized a State of Palestine. Puerto Rico, while competing independently in international sports, is still part of the United States. As such, it gets a thumbs up from the ZGWBC despite National Pedantic Radio’s (NPR) estimation that Puerto Rican are mostly supportive of the Palestinian national cause.
Group B is based in Houston, Texas, and features Brazil, Great Britain, Italy, Mexico, and the USA. Brazil, under Lula da Silva, has returned to being anti-Israel. Great Britain has proved itself to be an anti-Semitic cesspool. While Italian Prime Minister Giorgia Merloni has been one of the less anti-Israel European heads of government, large segments of the Italian people have been vocal supporters of Hamas. Mexico, Claudia Sheinbaum notwithstanding, has joined South Africa in the International Criminal Court to accuse Israel of genocide in Gaza. That leaves the USA. Obviously.
Across the globe Group C will compete in Tokyo. Australia, Chinese Taipei, Czechia, Japan, and South Korea comprise the group. As for Australia, see Canada, above, and replace the word “local” with “more remote.” Taiwan (the ZGWBC rejects Communist Chinese pressure to label it otherwise) has good, though quiet, relations with Israel, and they can be cheered for without reservation. The Czechs have proved themselves to be one of Israel’s best and most consistent European friends. Japan, on balance, has had a positive history of relations with Israel. The Japanese did condemn Israel’s attacks on Iran during the Twelve Day War. As for South Korea, one could certainly do worse.
And that brings us to Miami, Florida, and Group D: Dominican Republic, Israel, Netherlands, Nicaragua, and Venezuela. While the answer for this group is obvious, the ZGWBC will do its due diligence and review the field. The Dominican Republic has decent relations with Israel, and would be the second choice for this group. Post October 7th, the Netherlands’ stock has plunged. Traditional favorites of the ZGWBC and the ZGWC (the Zionist’s Guide to the World Cup), the Dutch have been dreadful–even to the extent of boycotting this spring’s Eurovision (Vapid) Song Contest because of Israel’s inclusion. Nicaragua is a current left wing authoritarian regime and is strongly anti-Israel. Venezuela is an evolving left wing authoritarian regime and also anti-Israel, at least for the time being.
Israel opens its WBC against Venezuela. If they can pull out a win, their odds of advancing to the knockout rounds look very good. Israel has a strong squad, great pitching, and hopefully they go far and thereby cause endless consternation to anti-Semites everywhere.