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Friday night at the Nicer Borowitz

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Friday evening found old friends Jenna Brilliantine and Kalani, who goes by one name only, welcoming the weekend at their favorite pub, the Nicer Borowitz, and primed for a couple of hours of relaxed conversation and mild intoxication.

It had been a rough week on the Alien Planet, the kind of week when two good friends say What the heck! and go out somewhere after work on Friday and spend a little of their hard-won income to de-stress a little.

Kalani’s boss at the Ancient Earth Archive had lately been hinting darkly about budget cuts and possible downsizing. Ms. Brilliantine, known to most people as Ms. B and to intimates as Jenna, was a little fed up with being all things to all two dozen kids in her kindergarten class while her indispensable robot assistant, Cinzano, was out for their quarterly lube job. Meanwhile, the Returnee spacecraft was still orbiting in quarantine. No one could say when it might be released and its passengers and crew permitted to disembark. Social tensions were rising everywhere in the city, and beyond. The friends agreed that, all things considered, some restorative measures were certainly called for. An evening at the Nicer Borowitz should be just the ticket. The beer wasn’t expensive and the vegan bar snacks would do for dinner.

“I love that this place is named for a long-dead Old Earth humorist,” Kalani commented idly into a companionable silence while they waited to be served at the bar. “Don’t you, Jenna? I mean, the archival documentation strongly suggests that this Borowitz fellow was an exceptionally creative and funny satirist who could also be rather nasty, too, apparently. So do you think he’d be gratified or annoyed by someone’s naming their pub the Nicer Borowitz?”

Ms. B shrugged. “I don’t know and I don’t care. But the NB has been around for decades. I wonder who named it that in the first place? Like, who would know archived historical gossip like that?”

Now Kalani shrugged. “Maybe a former archivist. When people burn out at the archive and change direction, they tend to go for something radically different. Running a pub is well within the range of typical choices, I’d say…” She trailed off into silence, thinking back to........

© The Times of Israel (Blogs)

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