A Woman Apart: Rachel Goldberg-Polin |
We all know Rachel Goldberg-Polin, a woman whose raison d’être was to fight, advocate, and plead for her son’s safe return to anyone who would listen. Her son, Hersh Goldberg-Polin, was kidnapped on October 7, 2023, in Israel at a music festival near the Gaza border. During the initial attack, he had his hand blown off by Hamas militants and was ultimately executed after 330 days in captivity.
Last night, at a local synagogue, I had the opportunity to hear Rachel Goldberg-Polin speak about her recently published book, When We Meet Again. While I waited for the talk to start, I began reading the book. Within the first words, the power, pain, and wisdom grip you; a book that reads like the work of a professional writer.
Rachel is accompanied into the room by her husband, Jon Polin. A silence lingers in the room. They must feel the gaze upon them from the rest of us sitting in the pews. Likely, they have become accustomed to eyes focused on them for reasons they never wanted. Both of them cut a lean figure, warmly greeting familiar faces in the front row.
The room begins to sing the Breslov song, “The world is a narrow bridge,” and we shall not fear. My eyes darted over to Rachel, looking as she sang underneath her breath, eyes closed.
Rachel steps up to the stage. The woman sitting next to me shouts, “We love you, Rachel.” She responds, “I love you.” Throughout the conversation, Rachel is poised, posture upright, and head high. Your average person has the opportunity to mourn their losses in closed rooms with private condolences and hugs. This is something else: a communal mourning. Almost, a form of services being led by its maestro.
The Rabbi asks, “Why did you write this book?” Rachel responds, “My soul was buckling from the tremendous weight of carrying this loss. The book packages the pain.” However, the pain is not presumed to be her own. In her book, Rachel writes, “Pain is pain is pain is pain is all part of this enterprise of being human.” We all experience pain in life so long as we are alive. The difference here is what came before. The package of suffering before Hersh’s death.
Rachel laments the well-meaning people who ask, how are you? To which she thinks, “Don’t they see the dagger sticking from my chest?… This book is the answer to, How are you?”
Hersh had spent approximately 330 days in an underground tunnel. His body was found emaciated and executed at close range. Another hostage, Or Levy, who had met Hersh while in captivity, said that Hersh’s demeanor had been positive and that he provided him and others with tremendous strength. Hersh, quoting Viktor Frankl, said, “If you have a why, you can get through any how.” A mantra that he repeated often while in captivity. One can only imagine that Hersh’s family was his why.
Rachel explained that “grief is the price we pay for the love. And, I’m willing to pay the price. The alternative is that I wouldn’t have had him at all.” These days, Rachel also lives by the words of Viktor Frankl and his coining of the word, “tragic optimism,” experiencing grief and pain with optimism. This book is “not a memoir but a love note wrapped in pain and suffering.”
The one thing you may not know or expect about Rachel is her sense of humor. A humor that distracts from her worn and raw appearance. Still, her jokes incite the audience into a belly laugh. In any given moment, you don’t know whether she will make you laugh, cry, or both. When a cell phone went off during the talk, she began dancing in her chair, putting others at ease.
Let’s not forget Jon Polin. Do not be deceived. Throughout Rachel’s talk, Jon sat in his own quiet strength, exuding a protective strength. Seemingly, offering the human form of an anchor during her performance. The performance of being human under these abnormal circumstances. As an onlooker, you all but saw the thick chord connecting them both, even if naked to the human eye.
The night ended with a standing ovation, a sign of affection, awe, and solidarity. At the same time, the thought occurred to me, as she stood on stage and the applause continued, there stood a woman alone. A woman apart from the people around her. How can we truly understand?
There are some people who make you want to be a better version of yourself. For me, that person is Rachel Goldberg-Polin. If I could follow her with a notepad and pen, I would. I would thank her for showing us how to navigate pain with grace, strength, hope, and optimism. Her world changed on October 7, 2023. And, in turn, she changed the world from that day forward. Rachel is a self-proclaimed introvert who previously had a “beige” and “normal” life, as she described them. In an alternative universe, she may have stayed that way.