‘Fundamental looseness’: Why England’s Noosa ‘stag do’ sums their Ashes woe |
On England’s penultimate day in the idyllic Queensland seaside resort of Noosa, their popular strength and conditioning coach Pete Sim put a message in the tour WhatsApp group, asking if anyone wanted to go for a run the following morning.
This was no three-line whip. Join if you want, have a lie-in if you prefer. But it seemed the perfect opportunity for professional sportsmen to blow off some cobwebs, exactly halfway through the 10-day break between the second and third Ashes Test, with England sitting perilously 2-0 down in the series.
England players take a break from their Ashes preparations at Noosa.Credit: Seven News
As it was, just three members of England’s playing squad, and a few backroom staff, turned up for Sim’s 7.45am gentle jog into Noosa National Park.
Two of the three players, Josh Tongue and Shoaib Bashir, were yet to play a Test (the third was Jamie Smith). This was not the first time a run had been proposed; a day earlier, Ben Stokes had invited his teammates, but ended up exercising alone.
England’s professionalism was already under question in this series, after their amateurish warm-up, which coach Brendon McCullum now accepts was below the standard required. Noosa, though, was less “mid-tour break” more “stag do”. You can have too much of a good thing, and it is certainly hard to imagine a knees-up like this happening in the midst of any other major sporting event.
Some seemed not to bring their running shoes, but all the cricket kit stayed away. Harry Brook claimed cricket was not even discussed (clearly an exaggeration). There is a cricket ground in Noosa, but England did not use it. The North Melbourne Kangaroos, who finished 16th out of 18 on last season’s AFL ladder, were there, on their pre-season tour.
It’s been an arduous tour for England captain Ben Stokes.Credit: Getty Images
The cricketers, meanwhile, were on affluent Hastings Street. When the squad arrived on Tuesday, a group........